


The Past and The Future Sat on a Rooftop...

by There_Once_Was_A_Girl



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Anxiety, Blind!Bitty, Blindness, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, It's really complicated, Just stay with me here guys, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary!Nursey, PolyFrogs, Service Dogs, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-18 02:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9363674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/There_Once_Was_A_Girl/pseuds/There_Once_Was_A_Girl
Summary: Not everyone has magic, and not all magics are particularly useful, but some people wake up on their seventh birthday with abilities. Eric Bittle wakes up, seven years old, to realize that he is blind. Instead of seeing the world around him when he opens his eyes he sees the future, in all it's possibilities.Jack Zimmermann can never escape the past. He sees things that happened years ago as vivid as his real life.The rest of the Samwell Gang all has Magic too! And they all figure out how to live life around magic.I've come back to look at this fic and realized that it is as finished as it will ever be. Perhaps someday there will be other works connected to it, but I wouldn't count on it. Sorry it didn't get longer y'all, real life has been kicking my ass up and down the stairs for the past year or so





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I saw [this post](http://fromwhenceyecame.tumblr.com/post/153801851562/tiptoe39-freakingpotter-bitty-with) ages ago and I was inspired to write a fic in which Bitty has magical powers and galaxies in his eyes, and is blind. So this is that. And it's gonna get long folks, so buckle up. 
> 
> Samwell people and their magics are: Bitty=Blind but can See the future. Jack=Can see the past. Shitty=Feels what people around him feel. Lardo=Immune to poisons (and very high metabolism). Holster=Audible+Physical illusions. Ransom=Visual+Olfactory illusions. Nursey=Speaks in Verse. Chowder=Projects his feelings to everyone around him. Dex=Can fix anything (But doesn't realize it's magic).
> 
> There is now [Art](http://hey-senpai-did-you-notice-i.tumblr.com/post/157132422875/a-colored-pencilacrylic-painting-i-did-for-the) inspired by this fic! Which just blows my mind! The wonderful fintasticampora drew Bitty's eye! (the link is to tumblr)
> 
> We also have a Graphic made for us by @wrathofstag on tumblr!  
>   
> (I suck at getting this shit to work so this graphic may or may not actually show up)

Eric Bittle remembers what it was like to see. It’s a vague memory of the time before his magic revealed itself at age seven, but he remembers. He remembers the time, so long ago, when he could see instead of Seeing. 

He never tells anyone how much he misses it. After all, he has magic and a great many people would kill for that. They would say he should be grateful, that he’s lucky. He would trade with them in a heartbeat. He would gladly give up the weeks he had spent leading up to his seventh birthday with his normal vision getting fuzzier and darker. Right up until his birthday when he had opened his eyes and seen nothing but darkness. That’s when he had started to See. Those first few days it had been overwhelming. He hadn’t even been able to get out of bed as his mind was flooded with a hundred thousand possible futures for the next few moments. He had cried out and his Mama had come running. He had stared at her with wide unseeing eyes and she had gasped. 

“Oh baby, your eyes!” She exclaimed. 

“What?!” He asked desperately. “What’s wrong with them, Mama? I can’t see!” He shut his eyes tight and was relieved when it made the visions of the future stop. 

“It’s okay sweetheart. It’s gonna be okay, we’ll figure it out.” She promised. “Your eyes look like galaxies.” She added. “Whole groups of sparkling stars, and gorgeous colors, blue and purple. They’re beautiful, Dicky.”

“But I can’t see!” He protested. 

“We’ll figure it out, Honey.” His Mama told him. Her own magic was a sort of basic healing. She was good at diagnosing and clearing up basic things, takes care of a lot of people in their town. He trusted her to take care of him. 

It hadn’t taken his mother long to figure out what had happened with his magic. His normal vision had been stolen from him to make way for Foresight. He Sees the future, all possible futures all at once. In the beginning, Eric had kept his eyes shut tight, refusing to See, refusing to open the eyes that had made his father flinch. After all, having a wife with healing magic was one thing, but a blind psychic son with unnatural eyes was a something else. They got him a seeing eye dog. He liked her company, and was glad to trust her with his life. However, it still wasn’t the same.

Eventually, frustrated, Eric had given up and opened his eyes. It took him over a year, during which he was homeschooled, to get to a point where he felt comfortable enough to go back into the world. Even after that he had struggled for months, years, to truly be comfortable. He kept his seeing eye dog. The first one was named Betsy. He loved her dearly, and she ensured that he never guessed wrong about which path the future would take and got hit by a bus or something. Besides, sometimes, Eric simply got tired of weighing odds in his head, so he closed his eyes and let Betsy guide him through life. 

When Bitty had first gone back to school he had asked his Mama if he should wear sunglasses. 

“Why would you do that?” She had asked gently. 

“Because I’m blind. And blind people wear sunglasses right?”

“Honey, only some blind people wear sunglasses. They wear them if their eyes are sensitive, or could be damaged by light. Your eyes aren’t that way at all.” She had answered. 

“But… won’t they frighten people?” Eric asked. 

“Maybe, but Eric, you are not wearing sunglasses that will only be difficult for you just to make other people comfortable. There is nothing wrong with you, Dicky. Do you hear me? And you don’t need to make any apologies for being exactly the way you are. You are special, and you don’t have to hide that.” She told him fiercely. 

Eric had agreed with his mother, had taken it into his heart that he never need apologize for who he was or hide it. It didn’t make life particularly easy. He did not have many friends. People thought his eyes were unsettling and that his Sight was frightening. He couldn’t really blame them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been eleven years since Eric was just a scared seven year old boy struggling to control his Sight. He functions easily now. His Sight shows him only the most likely dozen possible futures of the next few seconds of his life, instead of hundreds of thousands of futures stretching into the vast corners of space and time. It is at that point relatively easy to decide which possibility is most likely and act upon it. His Vision shows him the future focused on him, but not as if from behind his eyes, he Sees from a perspective like he’s looking down from above. It had made things rather difficult in the early days. He had struggled to navigate his body as he watched it moving in the future like a videogame character. Still, he managed with the help of his dogs, which he will never give up and has a right to as a legally blind person. Eric has long since figured out how to act like he is perfectly normal aside from his eyes which he stubbornly refuses to hide.

Hockey is something he really enjoys. It was the first time he’s tried to do any sort of team sport since he turned seven. Figure skating hadn’t been a problem since he was alone on the ice, he has excellent control over his own body and he can watch his form from the outside, he can also predict if he will land a jump if he moves this way, or that way. In figure skating his Vision is an advantage and his lack of vision is not really a disadvantage. It makes him feel almost like he’s cheating. He starts hockey mainly to prove to himself that he can do it. It’s a whole different thing to try to skate with other people. It’s hard to know exactly where the puck is going, where everyone is going. It requires more concentration and focus on finding the most probable course than he’s ever had to exert. It’s not just a physical sport for him but an exhausting mental activity. A lot of the time after practice he gives up, closes his eyes and lets Sugar guide him. Betsy had retired his sophomore year of high school, and was replaced by Sugar a pure white Samoyed. Eric adores Sugar. The large fluffy white dog is his near constant companion.

Occasionally, something will prompt Eric to stretch his Sight further into the future, or focus on other people. He almost always regrets it. He refuses quite firmly to ever tell the future for people who ask him to. He Sees so many possibilities, especially as he sends his Sight further into the future, it’s impossible to accurately predict things. Sometimes, Eric cannot help it; the Visions of the future come for him against his will. He hates it. However, it is one of these Visions that introduces him to Samwell University. He Sees himself there in so many of his possible futures, he Sees himself happy. As soon as the vision ends he looks up Samwell. It is, he soon learns the most magically inclined university in the country, with a higher percentage of those with magic than any other college in the US. It is also, he learns with wonder, the university with the highest percentage of LGBTQ+ people in the country. Eric doesn’t want to let his Sight make his decisions for him, but he cannot help recalling the many visions he had seen of him baking in a house somewhere off campus, surrounded by smiling teammates. 

In the end he can’t help it. Besides, Samwell offers him a hockey scholarship. He’s not sure what exactly to expect when he turns up at Samwell. He says as much to his mother, who laughs and reminds him that he can in fact, See the future. He bites his tongue to stop himself from telling her that he wishes he could just see instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Shitty Knight and Jack Zimmermann!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters are just going to be introductions of characters, everyone gets their own little intro about how they got their magic. I couldn't resist writing them, sorry if it's a little disorganized. 
> 
> Figured I'd post this today since it's mostly still intro, and I'm nice. 
> 
> As always, Ngozi owns all of these wonderful characters and all that jazz.

Brogan “Shitty” Knight got his magic when he was seven like everyone else with a gift, but it had still come as rather a shock. He came from a very unmagical family who found magic rather useless and if they were being honest (though they almost never were) quite frightening. As soon as it became clear that Shitty had magic it also became clear exactly how his parents felt about it. They scorned him for it. They never told him this, and they didn’t need to. The nature of his magic was that he felt exactly what those around him felt. 

“Empathy taken to a new level, a magic level.” The doctors had said when his parents rushed him to the emergency room when he burst into tears one day, cradling his arm. A girl at the playground who they had not seen had just broken her own arm and Shitty had felt it like his own pain. 

They offered him drugs to dull whatever he might pick up, an interesting combo of antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and pain killers. It’s an impressive cocktail, meant to protect him from the crazy fucked up world he lives in. Shitty does everything he can to avoid taking it. When he was young and his parents had ordered him to take his drugs he had lied. He had hid pills beneath his tongue and flushed medicine down the drain. He knows that they think they’re helping but he would rather just feel it. The drugs make him fuzzy and out of it, and just feel awful. He hates them. He knows that for people with mental illnesses meds are super important to maintain a normal chemical balance and all that jazz, but he’s not the one with clinical depression, he just knows people who are. He’s not the one with physical causes for his pain. He just feels it all second hand. The drugs dull everything, sure, but it’s everything. They make him a complacent little Brogan Knight zombie free of feelings good or bad. He’s sure that his parents prefer it that way but Shitty would rather launch himself off the nearest bridge. 

Instead, Shitty develops a very high pain tolerance. He is good at keeping a line between his feelings, and the feelings of others. He understands the difference between them even if he feels both. He does as much as he can to learn to stop feeling the emotions of others and simply be aware of their emotions instead. He is not particularly good at it. He gets better at pretending he doesn’t feel it all. Still it’s hard not to care. 

His parents think he’s ridiculous for caring so much about social issues. He wants to scream at them ninety percent of the time that they’re fucking assholes who have no idea what life feels like for some people. He wants to scream at people for suggesting that he just sit by and watch racism, misogyny and homophobia stand. He doesn’t know how to describe to people how fucked up it is that when it’s late and he finds himself walking near a woman he can feel how scared his presence makes her. He doesn’t know how to make people understand how fucked up so many aspects of life are. He can’t imagine not being empathetic, not feeling what everyone feels. But he also knows that even if he feels other people's feelings they still aren’t his. Shitty is a cis straight rich white man in America. He’s probably close to the least oppressed person in history but he’s determined to use the advantages he has to help people who don’t have them. Whenever he’s near people who suffer he feels it, he feels the joys and the good things too, but he’s always in tune with pain. He knows that only has to deal with it in the moments when he’s near them, but he never forgets what it feels like, never forgets that people have to deal with it every second of every day. He will never stop fighting for them. 

He decides to go to Samwell because he knows it’s an accepting place, one where his magic will be overlooked and his vices accepted. Weed is the one allowance he has, it makes everything a little chiller, makes everyone else’s feelings a little farther away but it doesn’t completely remove him like his medicine does. So he smokes pot, and anyone who has a problem with it can go feel some of the shit he’s dealt with. There are a few places he avoids at all costs. Shitty doesn’t go near hospitals if he can help it. He feels the pain of anyone nearby, the last thing he needs is to go near a cancer ward. 

When he comes to Samwell Shitty finds the loneliest, grumpiest Canadian boy he has ever encountered. Jack Zimmermann has so much bad churning around his head sometimes Shitty’s shocked he functions as well as he does. So Shitty does what he always does, he hangs on tight and promises himself he’s going to fight this. He’s going to fight against all of the bad and negative shit that was pressing down on this boy. Jack Zimmermann needs a friend, he needs someone who is not his parents to stand by his side and say that they care, that Jack isn’t broken and that they believe in him. Shitty is determined to be that friend. It’s not that Shitty doesn’t love Jack’s parents, the Zimmermann’s are great he adores them and they are nothing but supportive, but parents are different. Jack needs to realize that someone can meet him and like him for who he is now, not who he was or who he might be. Shitty is more than happy to be that person, because he thinks Jack Zimmermann is a fantastic human. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack Zimmermann is born to two magical parents. His father, who has magic that makes him a little bit faster and stronger, is a natural athlete. His mother, whose magic lies with her ability to charm people with a smile, is a star. Everyone loves her. Everyone wants to know if Jack will inherit his parents’ magic types. It does happen, although not always, that children have the same sort of magic as their parents. Jack’s parents tell him that it doesn’t matter what happens when he turns seven, magic or not. 

At first Jack thinks he doesn’t have magic. He thinks that he is the first non-magical person in a long line of magical Zimmermanns. He thinks this for weeks after his birthday, until he goes back to school. It happens when his teacher makes them read a small article about Quebec when it first began. Jack starts reading, and then suddenly, he’s not sitting at his desk in his school anymore, instead he’s standing in the middle of a camp, it’s freezing cold. Everyone around him is dressed in furs, they’re all speaking French that sounds not quite right to his ears. He can feel the cold, he can smell smoke from fires and the scent of something rancid. It’s so real, then as soon as it comes it’s gone. 

That is how Jack discovers that he can see the past. After that first occurrence it happens all the time. Sometimes it’s as simple as flashing back to a few days earlier, he ends up reliving a lot of his own life. Other times he gets flashes of recent events. They are not, as a general rule, particularly pleasant. It’s difficult to control or predict what he’ll get flashes of and when they’ll come. The exception to this is reading. Whenever he reads a piece of nonfiction he flashes to the events about which it was written. Books become his greatest escape, and the news his worst enemy. He becomes a very serious, very sad child rather quickly. All parents do their best to shield their children from the harsh realities of the world, but it is hard because whenever Jack looks at a newspaper he finds himself transported into the moment of tragedies and crimes. It is hard to convince an anxious child that all is well when he has seen, has experienced exactly how bad the world can be.

History becomes both Jack’s favorite subject and the hardest hour of his day. It is fascinating and Jack has an insight most historians would cut off a leg for. He knows the truth. It is a strange and wonderful thing. He loves being able to experience the past sometimes. Going back to times like the roaring twenties, the renaissance. But in turn there are also wars, strife and suffering beyond what any child should see. He starts going to a therapist when he is in his first year of high school. The world wars are a bit much for a fourteen year old kid with anxiety. 

Throughout all of it, Jack skates. Hockey is an escape for him, something that he his good at in his own right. People talk about how he will never be as good as his father because he didn’t inherit his father’s magic. He is determined to prove them wrong. He is focused on proving to the world that Jack Zimmermann is not weak. He is not worthless. It’s not easy. His anxiety is out of control, and frankly he’ll do anything to make the fear stop. 

When he and Kent start playing together he feels like he has a true friend for once. Except his friend comes with parties and all they entail. Jack likes going out with Kent though. They go to parties, places full of life, bodies everywhere, loud music, and alcohol flowing fast. Jack is more than happy to go, to drink until the bodies surrounding him don’t remind him of the race riots he’d experienced in the sixties, drinks until he forgets the way mangled bodies looked lying on the beaches of Normandy. He knows even as he does it that it’s unhealthy behavior, that his therapist would have his head for it, but he can’t help it. Still somehow Jack manages to ignore the fact that he’s spiralling, tries to ignore that his relationship with Kent had turned sour almost as soon as they had started it. Jack’s anxiety and his visions of the past have managed to turn almost everything in his life toxic, even his dedication to hockey is bordering unhealthy. The closer Jack gets to the draft, the more anxious he gets. The more anxious Jack gets the more flashes he gets, the more flashes he gets the worse everything else gets as well. It’s a vicious cycle. Then the draft is only weeks away and the flashes are coming over and over, of protests turned into massacres, of plane crashes, of military attacks and the deaths that come from them. Kent and he are fighting, Kent is jealous that Jack is supposed to go first in the draft and Jack is too on edge to have any sympathy for Kent. Kent who has magic, but only magic that attracts cats and has no effect on his life except a tendency to collect strays. 

It all builds to one night when Jack finds himself in a hotel room, all alone, caught in an endless cycle of fear and horrible visions. He takes some of his meds in an attempt to make it stop. It doesn’t, so he takes more. It still doesn’t stop, so he takes more, and then everything starts to go dark. He only has time to think that his parents will be so disappointed in him before he passes out. 

When Jack wakes up he’s in a hospital. His parents are both there looking teary-eyed and tired he apologizes to them, trying to explain but they act like it’s not his fault, like it’s theirs somehow. They seem to think they failed him and this is all their fault. He wants to scream that they’ve done nothing, it’s all his fault, but it’s not what anyone wants to hear. Jack checks into rehab, they tell him he doesn’t have to but he insists, between the drinking and his anxiety meds he’s become an addict. When he gets out of rehab the doctors offer to find a better medication for him and he refuses point blank. 

“Son, your anxiety and your trauma, they aren’t normal. They aren’t something you should have to deal with by yourself, you don’t have to tough this out. No one expects you to just be able to handle this. What happened before, it wasn’t your fault.” The doctor tells him kindly. 

“I’ve shown addictive tendencies, it’s not safe.” Jack says. 

“You haven’t actually, from what you’ve said your actions weren’t driven by addiction, or by suicidal tendencies. We’ve come to the conclusion that with supervision the proper medication poses no harm.” His doctor responds. Jack shakes his head. 

“No.” He says flatly. “I don’t trust myself with them. The temptation to take more, to use them to escape, when I have them… I can’t risk it.” 

“Okay, Jack. You know your own mind best.” The doctor agrees. “We’ll figure something else out.”

“Good.” Jack agrees. He tells his therapist about the conversation. 

“Have you thought about a therapy dog?” She asks when he tells her he has refused medication. He blinks at her in surprise. 

“What?” He asks, in surprise. 

“A therapy dog. It just, and correct me if I’m wrong, but it just seems to me that you suffer from what are similar to flashbacks, not to your memories but still to trauma. You’re a trauma survivor, like a vet with PTSD. It’s been shown to be helpful for people to have therapy animals which can detect when you have a flashback or an anxiety attack. They’re there to comfort and support, to keep you in the present.” She explains. Jack thinks about it for a long moment, and then he nods. 

“Maybe.” He says reluctantly. Maybe, he thinks, just maybe he doesn’t have to do this completely alone after all. Several weeks later Jack meets Daisy, and he knows for sure. Daisy is a black twelve pound German Spitz (Klein) and she’s affectionate and fearless. They tell him that she’s not a breed typically trained to be service dogs, but Daisy is good at her job. Whenever Jack gets flashes of the past she nuzzles his hand or curls up in his lap and licks his face if she can. It doesn’t make the flashes stop but it makes them easier, makes them seem further away. It’s harder to really feel like he’s halfway across the world when he can feel Daisy’s fur beneath his fingers. Plus she’s comforting and helpful with his anxiety. 

When Jack shows up at Samwell he has Daisy tucked under his arm and he feels, if not good, at the very least stable. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting from the Samwell team, probably something like his teams before. The Samwell men’s hockey team is nothing like an team Jack has ever played on. The guys are an interesting array of magical, non-magical and Johnson. 

“Well I mean, I have the ability to see beyond the fourth wall and observe the overall narrative, which maybe would be called magic in this AU but is a constant throughout all versions of our story since it was written into the original cannon. It was never really explained either so like, call it what you want I guess.” Johnson explains. Jack decides not to talk to him about it, it just gives him a headache. 

Then there’s Shitty. Jack doesn’t know his first name, no one does. Shitty seems to latch onto Jack immediately. He decides that he is going to be Jack’s friend, and nothing Jack does can stop him. It takes some time before Shitty tells Jack the particular nature of his magic. They have the conversation one day after a hard loss. Shitty finds Jack in a storage room, with Daisy curled on his lap. Shitty sits down next to him. 

“You aren’t a failure, Jack. Your dad. He was literally magically gifted in hockey. He was better than anyone else could ever hope to be. The fact that you’re even close to comparable is miraculous. Hell, the fact that you’re even on your feet functioning like a normal human is miraculous in my book considering how much shit you deal with.” Shitty says kindly. 

“Shits, what the hell?” Jack asks, looking at him in shock. “Can you read minds?” He demands, Shitty always seems to know exactly what he’s thinking. His friend shakes his head. 

“Nope, just feelings. Magical empathy, I feel what everyone near me feels.” He says. 

“Oh… that can’t be easy all the time.” Jack says quietly. “I’m sorry you have to deal with all my shit then. You don’t have to, I mean, if you wanted to avoid me, I’d understand.” he offers. At first he was unsure of this over the top stoner boy, but now he doesn’t like the idea of Shitty avoiding. He’d miss him. 

“Nonsense! If I didn’t want to feel shit I could take the super strength drugs they offer me all the time. Of course then I would be a fucking zombie and not feel anything I’m supposed to feel either, but supposedly it’s better. Nah, fuck that. Your feelings are valid as fuck my friend, and anytime you need support I’m here for you. We can share them alright? Everything’s lighter when there’s two people lifting.” He says with a smile. 

“Is that how it works?” Jack asks skeptically. Shitty shakes his head.

“Nope.” He says popping the p. “But emotional support and knowing that someone understands does tend to help, or so I hear.” He adds.

“Shits, I-”

“I don’t mind, Jack. I’m used to it, it’s different when it’s not your own feelings, doesn’t hurt as bad. I’m a tough dude, had to be, otherwise I’d go down every time someone else took a hard hit on the ice.” Shitty says. He sees the horrified look Jack’s giving him and shakes his head. “It’s really not all that bad.” He says with a smile. Nothing Jack says can make Shitty budge an inch. So Jack gives up and lets Shitty in. He slowly gets used to the idea of having a friend he can lean on. They move into the Haus together their sophomore year and Jack is closer to happy than he’s been in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you're enjoying this fic so far, drop me a comment if you are!
> 
> On a note of insecurity: I hope Shitty's abilities don't come off in a appropriate-y or "white Savior"-y sort of way. He just wants to help the world be a less fucked up place because he can feel how all the fucked up hurts people. It's not the same as feeling it himself but it's still pretty awful.
> 
> Last note: Daisy (Jack's therapy dog) looks like [This](https://www.google.com/search?q=black+German+Spitz+Mittel&rlz=1C1CHWA_enUS642US644&biw=1280&bih=615&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjFpuee3crRAhWhDsAKHSNrCNsQ_AUICCgB#imgrc=XwAAH-Um8HRLTM%3A)  
> And Sugar (Bitty's seeing eye dog) looks like [This](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHWA_enUS642US644&biw=1280&bih=615&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=samoyed&oq=samoyed&gs_l=img.3..0i67k1l2j0j0i67k1j0l2j0i67k1j0l3.150672.154015.0.154703.32.15.0.0.0.0.490.1956.0j6j1j0j2.9.0....0...1c.1.64.img..27.4.1309.0..35i39k1.mFoGLdUspRw#imgrc=CpJGgbWJilByyM%3A)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: Lardo! Holster! And Ransom!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is still an intro chapter. Sorry, I have no self control and I needed you to see everyone's perspective on their own magics because people don't talk about it a lot. After this we're going to just Bitty and Jack's perspectives switching back and forth (until I intro the frogs but whatever).

At first all Larissa Duan knows about her magic is that she burns through food faster than anyone she knows. Her metabolism is off the charts. It’s not until she’s eight that she finds what she thinks is blue kool aid and drinks some. It doesn’t taste like kool aid at all. Her father comes in and sees her just as she’s setting the bottle of windshield wiper fluid down. Her parents rush her to the hospital, knowing it only takes a few ounces to poison a child. However when they get to the hospital the doctors insist that the fluid has had no negative impacts on her. After some tests, it turns out that Larissa can metabolize every type of poison and toxin known to man. She gets a kick out of finding poisonous and venomous things and messing with them just to say she can. She also discovers that sprinkling some rat poison over her leftovers doesn’t change the taste much but ensures that no one else can eat her food.

When she gets older she discovers the true impact of her magic. She cannot drink too much. In fact she has to ingest truly absurd amounts of alcohol just to get tipsy. If they drink the same volume of liquid she gets about as drunk drinking vodka as her boyfriend does on beer. It is very expensive, so she starts drinking rubbing alcohol instead, which has a similar alcohol content and is much cheaper. It would poison anyone else but it all amounts to the same thing to her. She buys it by the gallon and supplies her own drinks when she parties, 

When Lardo shows up to Samwell with her particular skill set, and ends up working as manager for the hockey team they treat her like a goddess. For some reason they still play drinking games with her, even though she kicks all of their asses, and is very close to incapable of getting crazy drunk. Shitty does make a mean tub juice that nearly rivals her straight alcohol, which is mildly concerning. All in all, Lardo loves her boys, and she takes good care of them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Adam Birkholtz turns seven he’s shocked to find that he has developed magic. No one else in his family has it. It takes him a while to figure out the extent of it. He can create phantom noises, anything he wants. He can also create things that people can feel, like phantom objects. Auditory and tactile illusions, the adults call them. They drone on about how it’s fascinating and complex magic. Adam finds them incredibly dull. He creates a figure which he makes roam his house, occasionally whispering things in a spooky voice, and calls him Marcus the ghost, just to freak out his siblings. He also performs as a one man acappella group when he’s in highschool, creating anything from five to twenty other voices to sing with him. 

When Adam’s childhood dog dies he cries for days. He can’t sleep without the familiar sound of Frankie snoring softly, the warm weight of the dog on his feet where he had always slept. So Adam makes an illusion, the shape of his dog that makes soft snoring noises, and with his eyes closed, he can almost convince himself that Frankie is still there with him.

Occasionally, he’ll use it as a distraction technique in hockey. His tactile illusions don’t hold up if pressed on much, if you punch Marcus the ghost he will evaporate, so it’s not like he can shove people around with his illusions, but having an invisible person tap people on the shoulder, or whisper in their ears is distracting. Eventually they catch him out and ban his illusions from the rink.

He once had a friend who pointed out that he could really fuck people up with his illusions, he can imitate warmth, heat, even sharp pain. 

“You could like, torture people or some shit without really damaging them.” The guy had said, looking excited. Holster had stared in disbelief. 

“I don’t know if it would work that way.” He had offered weakly before getting very very far away from him and never talking to him again. Holster just wanted to sing, and play pranks, and get to sleep. He doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of crazy bullshit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin Oluransi knows he’ll have magic from a very young age. Everyone in his family does. He’s just excited to find out what it will be. 

It starts with smears of color. They form around him as he talks. Then they turn into pictures of what he’s trying to describe. He realizes eventually he can form them without describing them aloud, just by picturing something, wishing it into existence. They have no substance, they’re just pictures, optical illusions. It takes him several weeks to realize that there are also smells that have no source, if anything he enjoys his olfactory illusions more than the visual ones. He veils himself in a constant scent of peppermint, which has always been his favorite it’s so sharp and clean, it helps him focus. 

When he gets stressed Justin paints himself a picture of a happier scene, but they lack a certain depth. For all that he can put a merrily burning fire in front of him it doesn’t crackle, it puts off no warmth, just the smell of burning wood. They’re hollow in a way, he can’t help think it’s such a shame. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Justin and Adam meet they become Ransom and Holster nearly immediately. They get along better than anyone, and they play better together than any other pair of d-men in the NCAA. That’s before they realize what each other magics are. Then, one day Ransom is trying to describe something to Holster and just creates an image of it in midair. They’re hanging out in the Haus living room.

“Woah, that’s awesome!” Holster exclaims seeing it. “You do visual illusions?!”

“Yeah, and olfactory ones, that’s smells. It’s the same magic my great-grandma had, apparently.” Ransom answers with a smile. Holster grins, more widely than Ransom has ever seen. 

“I do auditory and tactile illusions!” He exclaims. 

“No fucking way!” 

“Dude, dude, put like, a fire on the rug or some shit.” Holster instructs. Ransom creates the illusion of a merry little campfire and the room fills with the smell of woodsmoke. Holster grins, and suddenly the sound of a burning fire join the sounds of their breath, a happy crackle. 

“Hold your hands out to it.” Holster instructs. Ransom does and is shocked to find that their fire is throwing off heat. 

“Would it burn me if I got too close?” Ransom asks, fascinated. 

“Never tried it.” Holster admits. “It probably couldn’t really burn you, but it’d probably feel like it. I’m not sure though. I have a strict no hurting people off the ice policy.” Ransom nods, staring at the fire, obviously searching for words.

“Holy shit this is like… some soulmate level shit. Like we complete each other.” Ransom says at last watching the flames flicker in front of him. Holster nods. Neither of them says anything else, they just sit down on the floor around their indoor campfire, just taking in how damn cool it is. Ransom turns the living room into a forest scene which Holster reinforces with the sound of wind in the treetops and birds singing. When Shitty comes down the stairs his eyes go wide. 

“I don’t remember taking any drugs that could do this…” he says slowly. He spots their campfire. “Tell me that you didn’t actually set the floor on fire.” He adds. 

“Sorry!” Ransom yelps. He waves a hand to banish the illusions. Holster dismantles his own. Shitty nods. 

“You two have some damn trippy magic.” He says simply, before heading out. Ransom and Holster shrug, they both love it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone asks, soulmates are not actually a thing in this 'verse. The comment Ransom makes that their magics working so well together being "soulmate level shit" is made purely in the same way that someone in real life might talk like their SO is made for them. Also on that note, Ransom and Holster are not yet dating in this chapter, they start dating "off stage" or so to speak in this fic. No one even realizes it at first. I'm pretty sure they're a thing by the time Bitty shows up though.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitty is introduced to the Samwell team. Jack is less than kind initially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice long chapter for y'all because I am in a shitty mood and I love hearing from you guys after I post chapters. Plus I figure that you could all use a chapter to take your mind off things

Eric is so nervous to meet the team. He doesn’t want to scare any of them with his eyes, or make a fool of himself by tripping over something or anything. The only problem is when he gets nervous it gets harder and harder for him to properly focus on possible futures and predicting the most likely one. It makes him clumsy. He hates it. He’s still unfamiliar with the campus, so he brings Sugar with him on his walk to the rink where they are having their team meeting. He gets there early. Coach Hall spots him wandering in and speed walks over to him. 

“Bittle!” He says brightly. There’s a moment of indecisiveness in which he can’t decide whether or not to offer to shake Bitty’s hand. Then he sticks a hand out. “Great to have you on campus.” He says brightly. Eric shakes his hand easily. 

“I’m so happy to be here.” He says with a grin. “Oh, and this is Sugar by the way, my seeing eye dog.” He adds waving to Sugar. 

“I wasn’t aware that you had one, I know you can’t see but I thought…” Hall trails off awkwardly. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to be insensitive but wants to understand. 

“I am legally blind yes, I can’t see a thing with normal vision. As I told you before my magical Vision allows me to see the future, so I look just a few seconds into the future and see the most probable futures, there are always multiple possibilities, then I act on the most probable one in the current moment. I take Sugar with me sometimes just in case I’m wrong. I’m usually never wrong but it would be a shame to mess up if I assume a car will stop for me in a crosswalk and they don’t and I get hit. Besides, it’s a lot of work playing hockey when I See the way I do, lots of people, lots of possibilities. I’m usually pretty tired afterwards so I’ll just close my eyes, which stops my magical vision like it would normal vision, and just let him guide me home.” Eric explains. “I swear I can play as well as any sighted person, you don’t have to worry.” 

“Sounds like a lot of effort just to play a sport.” Hall says, impressed. Eric shrugs. 

“It is, but I don’t want being blind to stop me from doing what I love.” He says.   
“I’m lucky. I have Foresight that lets me function almost like a sighted person. I take advantage of it.”

“Wow, Foresight. I don’t have a speck of magic myself, I can’t imagine… You couldn’t tell me who’s gonna win this season could you?” Hall jokes. Eric chuckles. 

“I try not to look too far forwards, too many possibilities, hurts my head.” He says easily. This is only partially true. The other part of it is that the further he looks into the future the more horrible possibilities join the others. His personal favorite is the fact that whenever he looks a good month into the future nuclear war becomes a possibility, the tiniest least likely possibility, but it’s there. It is not something he enjoys seeing even if it’s only for a fraction of a second. 

The future is full of a lot of potentially horrible things. Seeing all of them and how likely they might be is always hard. It’s the worst when someone comes at him on the ice, and he sees the possibility of a really bad hit, of something going wrong, of permanent injury or death. Or when he gets checked into the air and in the moment before hitting the ice he’s trying to figure out the best way to land so as not to break his neck. It’s terrifying. Still he does his best. 

“Ahh, well, if there’s anything we can do to be accommodating or whatever, you let me know. Do you need me to watch Sugar, or…”

“He’ll be fine just sitting around here. He won’t get into anything he’s not supposed to, I’ll set out a water bowl for him and he’ll be good.” Eric says. 

“Oh good, is he good with other dogs?” Hall asks, “Only Jack, our Captain, brings Daisy sometimes and she just hangs out in here. She’s very well behaved, she’s a service dog as well after all.”

“Oh! I didn’t realize Jack had a service dog.” Eric exclaims. “Sugar loves other dogs. Once I take him off his leash he’s like any other friendly, well-behaved dog. He loves to make friends.” 

“Good good you and Jack will have to introduce him to Daisy.” Coach Hall says with a smile. “Make sure he doesn’t eat her.” He chuckles. Eric doesn’t understand and Hall just waves a hand. 

“You’ll see. The guys are all coming in now for the team meeting, looks like Jack’s got Daisy.” Hall says brightly. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to your team. Some of them at least.” He leads the way out towards where several guys have come in. 

“Guys, this is your new teammate, Eric Bittle.” Hall says gesturing to Eric. 

“Hi y’all!” Eric says brightly. “I brought you pie.” He adds, remembering. They all brighten at that though he can feel them all staring at his eyes. He looks down purposefully. Then the one with the long hair and the mustache steps forward. 

“Hi, I’m Shitty!” He says with a smile. “That’s my nickname anyway. It’s better than my real name trust me. Sorry about that initial reaction just like, your eyes are wicked cool.” 

“Oh, I- thank you. Not many people agree with you.” Eric answers, shocked into honesty. 

“What the fuck? Seriously?” 

“I’m told they’re unsettling.” Eric confesses awkwardly. “I wouldn’t know. I’m blind. I have Foresight, can look a second of two into the future to see what’s going to happen and act on it, that’s how I function. For some reason I can never see my eyes in my visions. They used to be brown. Anyway, this is Sugar by the way, he’s my seeing eye dog, mostly just in case and because I like his company.” He adds gesturing to the dog. He knows he just spilled way too much information all at once but Shitty seems to take it in stride.

“Awesome, awesome.” He says. “Well, welcome to the team, Bittle. You and Sugar. Bittle, huh? You know what? I’m gonna call you Bitty, is that cool?” He asks.

“Yeah, definitely.” Eric agrees. It doesn’t come off as condescending from Shitty. One of the guys behind Shitty lifts a hand in a half wave. 

“Hey, I’m Adam Birkholtz, but everyone calls be Holster. It’s nice to meet you Bitty.” 

“And I’m Justin Oluransi, call me Ransom. Welcome to the team.” The guy next to him says. 

“Listen if you see, hear, feel, or smell weird shit around those two ignore it.” Coach Hall says with a sigh. “They both have illusion magic, together they cover all the senses but taste.” 

“Thanks for the warning.” Eric says with a smile. 

“And this.” Hall says when the last guy shows no sign of introducing himself. “Is Jack. Jack Zimmermann, Eric Bittle.” 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Eric says brightly offering Jack a hand to shake. Jack does, though it seems begrudging.

“Hello.” He responds. 

“You two make sure your dogs will be fine with each other.” Hall instructs, turning back towards his office to get something. 

“He won’t pay her a speck of attention when he’s on leash.” Bitty says leaning down to unclip Sugar from his harness and leash. The dog sits patiently for a moment as if asking if he’s sure. Bitty scratches his ears affectionately. 

“Wait.” He instructs. Sugar sits and waits but his tail is wagging and he’s looking at Daisy. “He loves other dogs, but he’s a bit big I don’t want him to scare her.” He tells Jack. After all Jack’s dog is… well she’s tiny. The little black fluff ball is anything but what Eric expected from the captain of a hockey team. Jack crouches to pet Daisy and unclip her leash. 

“It’s okay, girl. Go.” He tells her. She bounces forward happily to sniff at Sugar. “Daisy isn’t scared of anything.” He adds. Eric grins down at the dogs as they sniff each other and start to play. He crouches. 

“Can I say hello to Miss Daisy?” He asks. Jack nods. “Shug, you want to share your new friend?” He asks his own dog. Daisy sniffs his hand and allows him to pet her. She wags her tail, which he takes as a good sign.

“She’s a sweetie.” He says with a smile. “Oh and y’all are all free to pet Sugar whenever he’s off leash, he’ll love you for it.” He adds. Shitty immediately moves to say hello to the dog. 

“Oh god, do you know what this means?” Holster asks staring at the two dogs. Ransom seems to understand exactly what he means. Bitty knows what they’re going to say before they say it, he always does. Usually he’s better at holding back his responses but he can’t help chuckling as they exclaim in unison. 

“No colors are safe!” The d-men seem more amused than angry. Shitty understands too. 

“Oh, you’re right.” He groans. “Now we have a giant white fuzzy dog to get fur on black clothes to match the tiny black dog that’s on a mission to destroy all of our white clothes.” 

“Like you wear clothes.” Jack mutters rolling his eyes. Shitty laughs. Before anyone can say anything else more people come in and there are more introductions before Coach Hall starts the team meeting officially. Afterwards the boys destroy the pie Bitty brought. It’s offensive the way they shove it into their mouths like animals. Still he’s determined to give them a chance, after all he’s seen them in his future, the potential they have to be his friends. He’s not ready to give that up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack hangs back to talk to coach after the meeting, Shitty stays with him, which Jack doesn’t question.

“Coach, what is that kid doing on my team?” Jack asks. He doesn’t understand it. Eric Bittle looks like an angel. His blond hair curls at the end, and he smiles like a blessing, even his eyes, beautiful full of unknown power make Jack think of something heavenly. He’s also so tiny, tiny with that huge pure white dog, making him look even smaller. Jack has no idea what this boy is doing here, on the same rink as Jack. He’s terrified he’s going to crush him on accident.

“Playing hockey, going to be anyway.” Hall answers. 

“Coach, how?” Jack demands. “He’s a tiny, ex-figure skating blind kid!” It’s harsh, Jack knows it is but all he can see is Bitty getting himself killed on the ice because someone made a stupid call. It’s a horrible image, one all too easy to imagine.

“Jack!” Shitty hisses.

“No, I know it sounds bad but I don’t want him to get hurt and-” He starts, trying to explain 

“Jack, shut up!” Shitty tells him firmly. Before either Jack or Hall can respond Shitty is on his feet hurrying out of the room. It takes Jack a second to realize he’s hurrying after someone. 

“Bitty! Hold up!” Shitty calls, following the small boy as he hurries away sniffling. 

“I think he heard you, Jack.” Hall tells him flatly. “You are the last one I expected to get ableism from. He sent in good tape Jack. That boy can skate, he’s fast as a bullet and has really soft hands. We need more speed on the ice, and I found it. And the last person I ever expected to be a block in the road to bettering the team was my Captain.” 

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Jack says weakly. Hall shakes his head. 

“I don’t have time for petty infighting on my team Jack. Samwell is an accepting place, it’s why you came here, so whatever internal biases you’ve got going on, I need you to examine them and then get over them, and while you’re at it, apologize to Bittle.” Coach Hall instructs. 

“Yes, Coach.” Jack agrees sulkily. He wasn’t trying to be a dick to Bittle because he’s blind… he’s just… Jack isn’t sure. It isn’t that Bitty’s blind, it isn’t… it’s just that he’s so small, and blond, and angelic. But him being small isn’t fair either, Kent had been small too, and he’s a great athlete. Jack knows he has to give the kid a chance, not that he’s going to go easy on him just because he’s small or blind. Or because he bakes heavenly pie. Jack heads back to his room in the Haus to wait for Shitty. It takes a surprisingly long time for his friend to show up to scold him. 

“I’m sorry.” Jack says quietly. Shitty sits down next to him.

“You should be saying that to Bitty.” He says firmly. “Why did you say that?” 

“He’s just so small, Shits. He looks like an actual literal angel, I feel like he’s going to get hit on the ice and shatter.” Jack say with a grimace. 

“He’s not some fragile little doll, Jack. He’s an eighteen year old guy. He’s so far from being delicate, he’s got a heart like steel. I talked to him about it. You hurt him, of course you did Jack, it was a dick thing to say. But when I felt that I also felt this fierce determination. He’s not just upset, he’s angry. The last thing Eric Bittle wants is to be treated like something lesser. He’s more determined to prove himself as capable than anyone I’ve ever met. Including you. So think about that one.” Shitty tells him. “You two actually have a lot in common on the emotional turmoil level. So don’t fucking discount this guy. I shouldn’t have to tell you that Jack, you should know better.” 

“I know.” Jack agrees softly. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

“Good.” Shitty says nodding. “Everyone fucks up now and then, you just have to own it, step up, and learn from it. Then next time you’re better.” 

“Yeah.” Jack agrees because he knows Shitty is right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hockey is hard and Bitty and Jack start checking practices

Bitty is just about ready to give up on the future he thought he saw. Hockey is hard. It’s so much harder at Samwell than it was when he played in high school. Everyone moves so fast and everything is changing so quickly, it’s incredibly difficult to judge what’s happened. There have been a few times where he actually misjudged what his teammates were going to do and didn’t realize until he heard the wrong sounds. He doesn’t think anyone had noticed, but he had felt like a complete idiot. What was worse was the checking. Every time someone comes at him Bitty ends up curled in a ball on the ice, eyes shut tight. He doesn’t do it on purpose. He just sees all the possibilities of pain and injury and his vision just narrows to the worst possible scenario. The worst scenario usually ends in death because death is terrifyingly close at all times and Bitty knows exactly how close. He’s usually able to ignore it, to block out the futures that point out all the different moments that he could have died, but not on ice.

His checking problem reminds him of figure skating when he got a bad take off for a jump and he knew instantly that there wasn’t a single possible future where he lands the jump and he knew it was going to hurt. He remembers the time he had jumped wrong and known instantly that the best possible future ended in a twisted ankle and the worst one, ended in death (surprise, surprise, he thinks bitterly). He had managed to get away with the twisted ankle instead of breaking his leg or something awful but it had been the worst few seconds in the air, knowing it was going to hurt and not able to do anything about it. Except this is, if anything, worse. 

The guys are nice to Bitty for the most part. They’re accepting and kind, if a bit ‘bro-y.’ Jack is harsh. He seems to want more from Bitty than anyone else. Half of the time it makes Bitty want to scream and throw his stick to the ice and give up, half of the time if just makes him more determined to prove that he can do this. He knows that no one would really blame him if he quit. No one is going to give the blind kid crap for not playing varsity college sports, but he refuses to give in. So everyday he goes to practice. He’s never sure afterwards if his head or his body aches more. So he shuts his eyes and lets Sugar guide him back to his dorm and to his first few classes until he feels up for dealing with his Sight again.

Bitty hasn’t told anyone but Coach Hall about how exactly his Foresight works. As far as he can tell they all think he just sees one solid future. He doesn’t bother correcting them, it’s easier this way. People doubt him less when they think he knows exactly what is coming, set in stone. He is surprised that none of his teammates have bothered him about telling their futures until he realizes that Shitty has been silencing everyone with the ferocity of a dictator. Bitty is glad to just be left alone, to be treated as close to normal as possible. Of course he still gets the normal flinches when people see his eyes sometimes, the way no one looks at him directly, but it’s closer to normal as he’s ever had. Then, Jack Fucking Zimmermann wakes him up at an hour of the morning that should only ever count as night. He doesn’t even know how Jack knows where he lives.

“Come on.” Jack says. “We’re going to the rink.” 

Bitty is pretty sure the only reason he agrees, stumbling through getting dressed and following Jack to Faber, is because he is mostly asleep. Once he’s there Jack starts checking practice. Bitty quickly finds himself curled on the ice. 

“Bittle, I don’t even have pads on.” Jack says, looking down at him.

“What the hell, Jack?” Bitty demands, trying not to cry. 

“Listen, Bittle, you have a lot of potential. I see it. But you’re never going to be able to live up to it if you don’t get past this fear of checking. What is it that is so hard for you here? I want to help, but I don’t know how to do that except just exposure.” Jack says, sounding frustrated but not unkind. Bitty sniffs. 

“I’m afraid of death! It’s a common thing. That’s what’s so hard for me here.” He says, and he knows it’s an unfair statement but it’s five AM and Bitty is upset. 

“What are you talking about?” Jack adds. Bitty sighs as he clambers to his feet. 

“My magic shows me the future Jack, but it’s not just one future, it’s thousands of possible futures. When I first turned seven I couldn’t do a thing, I was so overwhelmed by them all. I just curled up in bed with my eyes shut tight. But if I focus, I can make sure I only see the next few seconds which limits possibilities, and I try to only see the most likely possibilities, then I choose the most likely one and act on it. I think my magic helps me go through all of this faster than anyone else could as well, otherwise I would never get anything done. The problem is when someone comes at me in hockey for some reason I can’t seem to ignore the very improbable possibilities that involve bad angles and death. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is for people to die. Fall and hit your head at the wrong angle, you’ve broken your neck and you’re dead, and sure it’s a one in a billion chance but I still see it. And it’s hard to not be afraid.” Bitty explains and he’s not sure why he’s being so honest except that he’s tired and he’s sick of people not understanding how damn hard this is. Jack is staring at him. 

“You see all of that all the time?” He asks. Bitty nods.

“Whenever I have my eyes open.” He answers. “It’s usually not that bad as long as I don’t look too far in the future. Sometimes I slip up, or my Foresight just decides to mess with me and I get a Vision of farther along. It’s almost never fun. There’s so much, and so much of it is bad, you wouldn’t believe. It’s hard enough predicting what path to take just in the immediate future.” He says bitterly.

“Is this why you close your eyes sometimes?” Jack asks.

“I get tired.” Bitty agrees. “There’s a lot going on on the ice, so many possibilities. After a while it hurts my head. It’s easier to just take a break. The only way to do that us to shut my eyes.” 

“I’m sorry.” Jack says and it sounds like he really means it. 

“I don’t want pity.” Bitty answers, with no anger. 

“I get that.” Jack agrees. “What do you want? Why are you standing here in skates, Bittle?” He asks. 

“I want to live my life. I want to live it like anyone else does. I don’t want to act out what I’ve seen coming. I want to be present. Hockey makes me feel present, connected to the world and people around me. It makes me feel present in my own body. Did you know my Visions look at everything else from afar? I haven’t seen anything from the perspective of a human since I was seven. I look down on future me like controlling a video game character. Sometimes it makes me feel like my body isn’t mine. But when I’m on the ice, everything is happening so fast, and sure it hurts my head, but in the middle of it all, I feel present. And I also want to prove that I’m not weak, or different, just human; to me and the rest of the world. I want to prove to myself that I’m stronger than the boy who got locked in a utility closet. I don’t want people to pity me, look down on me, or fear me. That’s why I’m here.” Bitty declares. Jack watches him, blue eyes unreadable. 

“I’m here to prove to myself that I can skate without making it unhealthy. That I can be a part of this team and make both me and everyone else better. I came to remember why I loved hockey.” He says quietly. “We both have good reasons to be here and I think we can help each other.”

“Yeah?” Bitty asks, shocked by Jack’s honesty. 

“I want to be a good captain, and you need to get over this block you have. So we’ll practice.” Jack offers.

“Do you really think that’ll help?” Bitty asks meekly. 

“How did you learn to get out of bed?” Jack asks, “Learn to block out all the bad that could come, focus on the immediate future? How did you learn to control a body when you were looking at it from above? How did you learn to figure skate?”

“Practice.” Bitty answers quietly. “And a whole lot of trial and error.” 

“I know, trust me. But you can do this Bittle, you’ve done harder things than this.” Jack tells him. “Now come on, get ready.” He says before skating right at Bitty again. Bitty does his best to brace himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty bond some, and then the whole concussion thing happens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for discussions of rape in this chapter. You can go to the end notes for more details.

Jack makes checking practice a regular thing with Bitty. He wants to help the guy realize his potential, because he has so much of it. As they work together, Bitty gets better, and Jack thinks that he could almost call them friends. After all, he’s starting to think Bitty is maybe the one person he’s ever met who can understand what his flashes are like. Sure Bitty’s visions are different, more vague, removed, and more plentiful. But they both see just how awful things can be sometimes, how awful humans can be.

Jack’s hiding in his room during a kegster like always when he sees someone crawl out into the reading room from Shitty's room. He almost ignores it until he sees that it’s Bittle, and he’s curled into a tiny ball, eyes shut tight. He opens his own window and joins Bitty there. 

“Bittle, you alright?” He asks quietly. Bitty is sobbing quietly. 

“People are scum.” He sniffs. Jack sighs.

“Did someone do something? Are you hurt?” He asks, suddenly filled with a need to destroy anyone who might have hurt Eric Bittle. 

“Not me.” He says quietly. “I’m fine I just… I can’t save anyone you know? There was a horrible boy at the party, he was with this girl, she was really drunk and…” Bitty’s words are interrupted by a sob but Jack understands. 

“Who? I’ll stop-” He starts, but Bitty’s waving him off. 

“I got Ransom and Holster to throw him out, told Shitty he’s banned from the Haus. I got the girl's friends to take her home... It’s just that I can’t stop him in the future. I know, I know he’ll try this shit again, and I won’t be there and I can’t stop him. I can’t get him arrested for something he hasn’t done yet, because there’s a tiny, little chance that he won’t, and I have to just hope that that’s the future he follows. I can’t do anything. I can’t save anyone.” Bitty sobs. 

“Can I- do you want a hug?” Jack asks. He knows that when he’s anxious he never wants people to touch him, but Bitty nods fervently and Jack wraps an arm around him tightly. 

“You saved that girl.” He says quietly. “Bitty, it isn’t your job to save people, to take care of them. But you do it anyway. You saved her. The future isn’t set in stone, he might not hurt anyone, but the girl he would have hurt is safe. You did that.” 

“I just wish I could do more, and at the same time I wish I didn’t have any of it so I didn’t have to feel so responsible.” Bitty says quietly. “I just want to use my magic to make sure I’m not going to walk into a tree, and to know exactly when a pie will be perfect, not this. I never wanted this.” 

“I know.” Jack agrees gently. “It hurts to see horrible things and not be able to change them.” It breaks his heart that this boy, this perfect boy, who just wanted to make people happy and bake things had to deal with this shit. 

“Oh, right… you see the past don’t you?” Bitty asks softly. Jack never talks about it but most people know. He nods. 

“Yeah. I had to start going to therapy freshmen year of high school, read about world war one, and then I was there in the trenches. It was horrible. I couldn’t do anything but watch.” He says. 

“That’s awful.” Bitty tells him. “Wars are horrible. Occasionally I see them, some happen, some don’t. It must be worse to know it’s already happened.” 

“Maybe.” Jack agrees quietly, but privately he thinks that it’s the other way around. It must be worse after all to see possibilities to know that one of them will come true, but never really know which. It must be a special sort or torture. 

“The past and the future sat together on a rooftop.” Bitty giggles sadly. “We sound like a bad joke.”

“Yeah.” Jack agrees, morosely. “Hey, what’s the best thing you’ve seen?” He asks.

“There are a few. One when I was trying to decide where to go to school I saw Samwell. I saw me in the kitchen, and you and the guys were there, and some boys I haven’t met yet. Everyone was happy, smiling laughing.” He smiles slightly. “They might pass marriage equality soon in the supreme court.” Jack’s eyes go wide, because that would be huge, and that’s fantastic… and Bitty is looking at him, or at least facing him, and his eyes are still so sad. 

“I shouldn’t have told you that.” He says quietly. “I try not to tell people, because I can’t know, you see. So what if you’re expecting it now, excited about it, and it doesn’t happen? Or what if I tell someone something about their future and they think it’s a guarantee and they get complacent and then it doesn’t happen. I didn’t mean to tell you, but I’m sad and drunk and it makes me feel better to hope. To remember seeing the rainbow flags flying all over as people celebrate, people getting married after years and years of never knowing, just so desperately happy. Makes me hope, someday… maybe.” 

“I won’t tell anyone.” Jack says softly. 

“What’s the best thing you’ve seen?” Bitty asks. 

“Hmm, women celebrating when they got the right to vote, VE day. I saw Martin Luther give the I have a dream speech. Jesse Owens winning his medals was pretty amazing. I read some articles on hockey, got to see all the best games.” Jack answers. 

“That sounds nice.” Bitty says. “You think the good outweighs the bad?”

“Hard to tell, I think we feel the bad more sometimes, focus on it more. We have to believe that in the end the good outweighs the bad, though, otherwise it’s just too hard. Trust me. I know.” Jack answers. Bitty sniffs and holds onto Jack a little tighter. It’s amazing and terrifying all at once, to have someone who trusts him, who is leaning on him for comfort. 

“I suppose.” Bitty agrees. After a moment Bitty lets go of Jack and they sit in silence for a while. Bitty has his eyes shut. Jack studies his face. He still looks like an angel, but Jack has remembered lately, that angels might be beautiful, but they are also fierce. They are warriors. 

“Thank you, Jack.” Bitty says quietly. 

“Anytime.” Jack answers, “I’ve got your back Bittle.” He adds. He’s never meant it more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Bitty gets better at handling checking with practice. He almost thinks that he has it under control. Jack is almost a friend these days, Sugar and Daisy certainly get along. Whenever they are not working they play together, or curl up together and nap. They’re adorable. Bitty loves seeing them together. 

Then comes the game against Yale, and Bitty is too slow and he’s in the air. Even after everything he’s done to make himself ready for this the possibilities are overwhelming. He’s trying to figure it out, how to move midair so as not to hurt himself but then he’s already on his way down and he twists in a way that will help go for a more minimal impact. He knows before he hits the ice that he’ll get a concussion, and it’s worse than any bruise. He hits the ice and it hurts, and then he shuts his eyes tight because anything else is going to hurt too much. Someone crouches next to him and it must be the ref.

“Can you get up, kid?” He asks. 

“Probably. I’ve got a concussion, but no major brain damage or other injuries. My magic told me, I’m not delusional.” He adds before the ref can say anything. 

“Open up your eyes, we’ll get you up and to a medic.”

“My eyes won’t help.” Bitty answers. 

“He’s blind, ref.” Coach Hall’s voice is familiar and comforting. Bitty knows his team must be crowded nearby, worried sick but staying back as they’re told. “He does a different kind of Seeing. Opening his eyes will only hurt his poor head worse.”

“Coach? Can you help me up?” Bitty asks. 

“I don’t have skates on Bittle, just a second.” Hall answers. “Zimmermann. Get Bittle off the ice. ” He instructs and then there’s someone there.

“I’m so sorry, Bittle. I’m so sorry.” Jack is saying. He doesn’t bother trying to help Bitty up, just lifts him into the air and carries him off the ice.

“It’s fine Jack.” Bitty tells him. “It’s not your fault.”

“It is. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” Jack says. Bitty grabs his shoulder.

“Jack. It isn’t your fault. Don’t you blame yourself for this. I made the wrong call on the ice, I wasn’t fast enough. All you did was have faith in me.” Bitty tells him and it’s hurting his head to speak so firmly. 

“I… was this the best outcome?” Jack asks.

“Once I was in the air it was the second best, I took too long to decide, and then it was too late to get away unscathed.” Bitty answered.

“It’s not your fault either, Bittle.” Jack says softly. “This is not your fault, this was not because you’re too slow, this was not your fault.” He promises as he sets Bitty on the bench. Then Hall is there again.

“Can I pick you up, Bittle?” Hall asks. “I’ll take you back to the trainer’s room, we’ll have the medics and trainer look at you.” 

“Yes, Coach. Thank you, Jack. Go win this game, okay.” Bitty says. 

“Think we can?” Jack asks.

“I don’t have to see the future to know you can.” Bitty answers. Then Hall lifts Bitty up and takes him to the trainer.

“Go back to the game, coach.” Bitty tells him. Hall must nod, forgetting that Bitty cannot see him because his footsteps leave the room. 

“Eric, can you open your eyes for me so I can check your pupils?” the trainer asks kindly. 

“I don’t have pupils.” Bitty snaps. “I have a concussion, not a bad one, I’d tell you how long it’s gonna take me to recover only it’ll hurt my head.” 

“I’m sorry, Eric. I forgot.” Their trainer, Haley says gently. “Listen, we’re gonna have to take you to a doctor, and we’re gonna have to talk to someone who is familiar with your magic to see how this will affect you. 

“You can call my doctor back home.” Bitty offers. “I need my wallet, it’s in my bag. Wait- Sugar. Sugar, come here.” Bitty calls, but doesn’t shout because shouting sounds like the worst thing ever. The white dog comes running through from the other room. 

“Come here, Sugar.” Bitty says, holding out a hand. He feels the familiar soft fur beneath his hands. “Good boy, Shug. Bag, Sugar. Bag.” He orders. It’s not something Sugar has to do frequently but he is trained for it. He runs back to the locker room and then quickly comes back carrying Bitty’s bag. He puts his forefeet on the table to give it to Bitty. 

“Good boy, Sugar.” Bitty murmurs, patting him on the head as he accepts the bag. He searched through it until he found his wallet, then counted the cards until he finds his doctor’s. 

“Here.” he says offering it to Haley. “Dr. Garner, right?”

“Yes, that’s what it says.” She says. “I’ll give him a call.” She adds Bitty just lays back with eyes shut and pets Sugar who is sitting by his side attentively. 

The whole mess is quite an ordeal. Haley calls Dr. Garner, who gives her advice. He goes to the hospital, where the doctors also call Dr. Garner. They do a couple tests. Eventually with Dr. Garner on the phone they make him open his eyes and tell them what he sees. It’s dizzying. Too far in the future. He cries out at the sights in front of him, war, death, horrors unimaginable, but possible nonetheless. Then he focuses. 

“I see us now, us in this room talking, two seconds in the future.” He says, and it’s already hurting his head to focus his sight like this, an action that’s usually effortless.

“Can you move around, interact with the present?” They ask. He does his best but he’s not good at judging what’s most probable right now, and he stumbles.

“I can’t focus, it’s hurting my head. There are so many futures… I… I can’t.” He says sitting down and shutting his eyes again.

“It’s okay, Eric.” Dr. Garner says from the phone. “It’s just gonna take some time. For now you can keep your eyes shut, just try at least once a day to open your eyes up and see how you’re doing. Check in with me at least once a week.” He instructs. 

“Yes, sir.” Bitty agrees. Dr. Garner has always been very kind and understanding. He always has time for Eric, especially since he is one of Dr. Garner’s most fascinating patients. Dr. Garner specializes in treating people with Magics that affect their health, but Bitty still seems to amaze him. Bitty is just happy to get back to his dorm in Samwell with Sugar at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the rape warning was because Bitty seeing the potential futures around him realizes this guys is getting a girl drunk specifically to try to sleep with her, and he gets the guy thrown out of the party and makes sure she's safe but he's still really upset about the whole thing because he knows the asshole can try again and Bitty can't do anything like get him arrested when he hasn't technically done anything yet. Jack comforts him, and then they bond over talking about good things they see with their magic (this is the scene from which the title comes). That's up to the first break, so if you start at the first series of ~~~~ things you will avoid reading anything on the topic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter of Jack after Bitty's injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is brief but I wanted to get it out to you guys. 
> 
> A note of gratitude: I was just contemplating fandoms, and I just want y'all to know that I am so fucking grateful for this fandom. Like the check please fandom has been nothing but kind and supportive to me, and I really really appreciate each and every single one of you for reading and leaving Kudos, or even better, comments. It means so fucking much and I'm just really grateful for y'all. Thanks!

Jack keeps reliving the moment when Bitty hit the ice in the way only he can. It’s horrible. He doesn’t know how to make it stop, so he just buries his hands in Daisy’s fur and prays for it to end. He doesn’t see Bitty much doesn’t talk to him much. Not until the banquet where he finds out Bittle voted for him for Captain in spite of everything. Bitty cleans up better than most of the boys, with a well tied bow tie and a blazer. Except he still has his eyes closed, and Sugar is in his harness guiding him around deftly. 

“You voted for me.” Jack says to Bitty afterwards, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. 

“Of course, Jack. You’re a good Captain.” Bitty answers automatically smiling, though he’s smiling at a point slightly to the left of Jack. 

“I just… after everything, and you got hurt…” Jack stammers. 

“Don’t be silly Jack, it’s not your fault.” Bitty tells him, he lifts his hand for a moment and then drops it. Jack knows that if he could see he would have set it on Jack’s arm. It hurts to see him unable to do so because he can’t tell where Jack’s arm is. Jack realizes he has gotten used to Bitty being so strong and capable, he had grown used to him acting like any other sighted person. It’s unfair. He knows that Bitty’s laughter is often slightly fake, his true reactions having come a few seconds too early and been silenced. He knows that Bitty tries hard to behave like any other person. He tries really hard to look at people when he talks to them, to look them in the eyes if he can, because he knows it’s more ordinary. 

“I know, but you’re a part of my team and I didn’t handle you right.” Jack answers before he can overthink it. “I treated you like I would have any sighted player, it wasn’t fair, I’m sorry. Not because you’re any less capable, Bittle. You’ve proven yourself more capable than anyone else in this game.” He said quickly seeing the hurt on Bitty’s face. 

“You’re only at a disadvantage because you spend a lot of time and energy trying to pretend you’re like everyone else. You’re not, that’s not bad or good, just different. You have different strengths than other people and we’ve got to figure out how to play into that. If I have a player who is good at defense I don’t make him a winger, but I treated you that way, I didn’t play you to your strengths, and I didn’t look out for you the way I should any teammate because I was focused on me.” Jack says. Bitty looks a little overwhelmed. 

“Oh, Jack…” He says softly. “You sweet boy. You were still a great captain.” 

“I’m going to do my best to be a better Captain in the future… and a better friend too.” Jack tells him. 

“Thank you.” Bitty says, voice weak. 

“In the future, once you’ve gotten better. You don’t have to act with me, okay? You don’t have to wait a couple seconds to react when you know what’s coming. Just react. You don’t have to try to go to all the effort to act like you see like a normal person if you don’t want to. I don’t care. Do what makes you comfortable.” Jack offers. 

“Thank you, Jack… Thank you so much.” Bitty says, and he’s definitely in tears now. Jack doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. Bitty puts a hand out. “Where are you? Jack Laurent Zimmermann come here so I can hug you.” He orders. Jack obeys hugging Bittle, awkwardly before letting go quickly and stepping back. Bitty laughs.

“Sorry, I just had to.” He apologizes. “Now you be sure to keep in touch this summer, Mr Zimmermann. We’re friends now, I’m not letting you go back to ignoring me.”

“Never.” Jack promises. “You’re stuck with me now.” He chirps. Instead of laughing Bitty just smiles.

“Good.” He says firmly. Jack smiles back and then says softly.

“Smiling at you.” Bitty’s grin gets wider. Then before things get awkward Shitty appears like a mustachioed angel to save them. 

Over the summer Bitty texts Jack every few days just to chat. Jack does his best to text back more than one word answers. Bitty keeps him up to date on his progress as he gets over his concussion and gradually starts using his Foresight again. Jack for his part tells Bitty if he flashes back to something he thinks Bitty would enjoy. He looks Bitty up and finds articles and videos about his figure skating. Jack loves the flashes he gets from that. Seeing a younger Bitty step onto the ice all alone, he looks just like the angel Jack had thought he was when the first met. He has perfect control over his body, every twitch of his fingers, every angle of his arms is perfectly choreographed and planned but somehow looks flawlessly organic. It’s breathtakingly beautiful. Watching him Jack wonders how this boy could have ever given it up, he clearly loves it, and though Jack doesn’t know much about skating he’s pretty damn sure Bitty could have gone pro. He didn’t mean to tell Bitty he had seen him perform but eventually curiosity wins out.

‘So I’ve flashed back to a couple of your old figure skating performances…’ He says. 

‘Oh Lord, that’s embarrassing!’ Bitty sends back immediately. ‘Why would you want to watch something like that?’

‘It’s not embarrassing, it was incredible. Bittle, you were amazing, why did you stop skating?’

‘Oh stop! I was decent, but we moved away from Katya, my coach, and it was either leave home to skate or stop skating. So I gave it up.’

‘Bittle, you could have been an olympian.’ Jack sends back.

‘I don’t think so.’ Bitty answers. ‘But thanks for saying it.’

‘I believe it.’ Jack tells him, because it seems important for Bitty to know. Bitty just sends back a blushing smiley face. Jack isn’t sure what his last year at Samwell will bring, but he’s excited to get back to school, and his team, is even excited to meet the new frogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist mentioning that Bitty is really really good at figure skating. It's my favorite personal headcanon that he was ridiculously good, could have been pro level good, and I will insert it into every single fic I write. Hope y'all don't mind
> 
> After this we have a frogs Introduction chapter in which we briefly see life from Chowder, Nursey, and Dex's point of views!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Chowder, Nursey, and Dex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay my friends, I need y'all to hang with me here. 
> 
> I'm going to repeat that Chowder projects emotions, Dex can fix anything mechanical but doesn't know it, and Nursey speaks in Poetry. Now this is where you have to hang with me because I am not good at poetry, so you have to tolerate my bad/cheesy rhyming and haikus. Legit these are the only forms of "poetry" I have in here explicitly. I wrote myself into a goddamn corner and I need you to just pretend that Nursey is more poetic than they are (Also notice that pronoun I just used... more on that in the end notes)

Chris Chow tells everyone his magic makes him good with animals. It’s true, but that’s not all it does either. Chris doesn’t like lying to people but it quickly becomes a part of his life. It’s the only way to make and keep friends, and make everyone happy. 

The Chows had been expecting Chris to have magic, everyone in his mother’s family had it, his mom had magic with paint. So Chris had looked forward to his seventh birthday for years by the time it arrived, eager to find out what his magic would be. At first they hadn’t been able to figure it out. The longer they went without signs of it, the more distressed Chris had gotten. Finally, he had burst into distressed tears, terrified that he wouldn’t have magic after all. His parents, bewildered but suddenly horrendously sad had cried with him. It had taken ages for them all to calm down and pull themselves together. That’s when Chowder realized that he projected his emotions onto anyone near him. It was not exactly the type of fun he had been hoping for.

“It’s a good thing you’re such a happy little boy.” His Dad had told him bouncing him on his knee. “You just make everyone around you happier like a ray of sunshine. My beautiful little ray of sunshine.”

“Yup!” Chowder had said cheerfully. 

He doesn’t tell his parents that he has already vowed to stay happy, for the sake of everyone else. He knows he can’t be as changeable and emotional as he used to be. If he lets himself be sad over every little thing he’s going to make everyone around him sad too, and he would hate that. Besides, it would be awful for his school teachers if someone said something mean to Chris and suddenly the whole class is crying. No. Chris couldn’t do that to people. So he practices controlling his emotions, letting bad ones roll away or be buried deep while he sends out only positive feelings. Then, at night when his family is asleep he lets himself feel the bad things, crying into his pillow… except then he overhears his parents talking about the horrible dreams they’ve been having. So Chris finds places far away from people to cry in. He’ll play outside and hike into the woods as far from people as he can get before he lets himself cry over things, bad grades, bullies, anything that’s hurt him that he had buried. That’s when he figures out that it’s not just humans. One day, when he’s done crying he looks up to find himself surrounded by a circle of distressed woodland creatures. Done crying he stares at them in shock. They stare back. The longer they stay the happier he gets, and the happier he gets the happier they all get. 

After that, Chris practices controlling his magic with the animals. He figures out how to limit the intensity of feelings he sends out, though he can never stop all of them completely, and gets better at manipulating which emotions to send. He finds he can make wild animals gentle and calm by sending out the right emotions, make them friendly. He befriends a shark that way in the bay one day while swimming. His parents freak out but Chris knows his friend wouldn’t hurt him, not if Chris was unafraid and sending out strong peaceful, happy, friendly, affectionate feelings. When he’s doing that there’s not a creature in the world capable of violence.

“You could end wars, kid.” His mom jokes one day. “Just make everyone feel a bit friendlier and willing to compromise.” she laughs. 

“It wouldn’t last long though, once I left people would start fighting again.” He tells her seriously. “Besides that seems manipulative. I don’t want to make people feel things they don’t want to.” He adds.

“Honey, it’s fine.” His mother reassures. “You never manipulate people into anything bad.” 

“Yeah.” Chris agrees. He hopes she’s right, hopes that he hasn’t made anyone do anything they wouldn’t want. Still it seems wrong to have control over the things other people feel at all. He just can’t help it. When he’s little his mom had gotten into a huge fight with her friend over Chris’s power and how it wasn’t right. That’s why Chris lies, tells everyone he’s good with animals, can make them gentle and friendly. He shows off his picture of him and his shark friend as evidence. 

When Chris starts playing hockey as a kid he starts as a center. He’s not particularly good at it, even considers giving up, but he hangs on because he loves watching hockey with his dad, loves the Sharks. Then one day, his coach puts him in the goal. From the moment the first puck comes flying at him Chris goes quiet, dead focused. All emotions, even the excitement he feels whenever he gets on the ice, go silent to make way for focusing completely on stopping shots. It’s the best thing that has ever happened to Chris. It feels like victory and freedom, to have a place where he can just be himself without worrying about being manipulative or controlling. 

When Chris gets into Samwell he’s so happy that his whole neighborhood ends up celebrating. He feels guilty about it later, in the woods with just his favorite squirrel friend, but at the time he cannot help it. His happiness just bursts out of his control. It’s actually a little scary how widespread it is. He hadn’t realized how wide his range had gotten, his magic has only gotten more and more powerful the older he gets, but he’s better at controlling it too. He swears to himself that he’s going to be okay when he goes to school. He’s going to do well, and he’s going to let everyone feel their own emotions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Derek Nurse doesn’t know if he’ll have magic. He doesn’t know if his birth parents had magic, since he was adopted by his moms when he was a baby. So when he wakes up on his seventh birthday he isn’t sure what to expect. He goes downstairs to his Mama and Mom, excited to find out what will happen. 

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!” They say brightly. 

“Thank you, Mom. You’re the bomb.” He answers. 

“Any signs of magic?” his Mom asks.

“I cannot be sure/Maybe it will take a while/Or I don’t have it.” He answers. His Mama frowns slightly at the way he speaks. It’s odd like there’s a purposeful rhythm to it.

“Well I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” His mom says brightly. 

“Hopefully! I guess we’ll see.” He says. 

“Honey, are you rhyming on purpose?” She asks. 

“No, I’m not. It just happens a lot.” He answers then frowns properly. “I am not rhyming/talking like I always have/what is happening?” He asks. 

“Was that a haiku?” His Mama asks, counting something. He looked at her, confused.

“It’s a type of poem.” She explains. “It has three lines, and different numbers of syllables in each line. They don’t have to rhyme.” 

“Oh. I guess so.” He answers. 

“And that rhymed as well.” His Mom added.

“Is that bad? You look sad? I don’t want to make you mad.” Derek offered up. 

“Say something that doesn’t rhyme dear.” His Mama instructs.

“Okay.” He says, the words ‘Whatever you say’ itching at his lips until they burst from his mouth. His mothers watch him curiously. 

“You’re a poet.” His Mama concludes. 

They spend the next several days experimenting with Derek’s speech patterns but when it comes down to it, everything he says comes out like poetry. He can try to stop it but it bothers him. His mothers seem to find it endearing, and tell him there’s nothing wrong with a few rhyming couplets or a haiku, but Derek’s peers disagree.

It takes the kids at school a while to notice, mostly because Derek does his best to stick to Haiku’s which are harder to recognize. But eventually they realize that Derek Nurse only ever speaks in verse. Though they don’t say it like that, they say that he’s a pansy-ass freak who rhymes when he talks. Derek learns to speak sparingly in public, and in private he does all he can to fight the rhymes, to drown out the voice that provides words only in iambic pentameter, or some other set rhythm. 

Sometimes it comes in stages, waves of certain kinds of poetry. When he’s nine he rhymes everything. When he’s twelve he speaks in nothing but sonnets for a year. When he’s thirteen it changes to limericks which is irritating. He doesn’t particularly like limericks. He does like poetry. He can’t help it, he thinks in poetry, and it’s beautiful, even if it did ruin his life. 

By the time Derek gets to high school they have learned to speak in free verse. To them, and to anyone who knows or pays enough attention, it’s clear that it’s still poetry, but most people don’t notice. It’s also starting in high school that Derek realizes that the gender binary is bullshit. They don’t have a problem with their body, but sometimes, Derek doesn’t feel particularly male, other times he does. It takes a while for them to figure out the words “nonbinary” and “genderfluid” and even longer to tell their moms. Of course, both of Derek’s mothers are nothing but accepting and wonderful. In the end, Derek’s gender identity ends up being much less complicated than their poetry. 

By the time they get their acceptance letter to Samwell they have learned to speak like anyone else, but it takes a lot of thought and concentration. Whenever they’re nervous, or excited, or upset about something poetry spills from their lips, usually sonnets. Derek likes sonnets, and their brain seems to default to them. Still, they resolve to be normal when they get to Samwell, no one needs to know about the ‘Magic.’ Derek hates that people call it that, to them it seems more like a curse. They hadn’t chosen Samwell for it’s acceptance of all magically gifted, but for it’s acceptance of all members of the LGBTQ+ community. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

William Poindexter doesn’t have any magic. He wakes up on his seventh birthday just as normal as he’s always been, as his family has always been. He knows he doesn’t have any magic, he had known he never would, and he tells everyone he’s perfectly okay with that. He doesn’t need magic. No one needs to know that seven year old William Poindexter had cried into his pillow over crushed dreams of being special. It’s all silly anyway. 

Will doesn’t notice anything unusual about his way with machinery. He never stops to question the fact that he can always find the right tool in his toolbox, even if he doesn’t remember putting one there. His parents never question the fact that anything that Dex works on doesn’t break down again, or that he doesn’t ever need to get parts for them. They just put it down to Dex having a way with his hands and are grateful that their washing machine works. None of the Poindexters think for a moment, that it could have anything to do with magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so on the topic of Nursey I have decided that Nursey is nonbinary and genderqueer. From here on out I will use mostly they pronouns unless explicitly stated that Nursey identifies as male that day. If you see me misgender Nursey TELL ME! Tell me tell me tell me! I love seeing Nursey in fics as Nonbinary. Nursey, for what it's worth, will absolutely rock heels, makeup and skirts/dresses if they want to. Not that Nursey has to be nonbinary for that of course, could do the same identifying as male, but I wanted to write nonbinary Nursey because I feel like there's not enough fic for that. I don't have a lot of experience with nonbinary people (outside of the internet) and I've never written a nonbinary character before, I'm trying to practice so I can get better at this, and also I just really love nonbinary Nursey.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter in which shit happens. Buckle up my friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so we've got some frogs, we've got some Jack+Shitty being good parents to their hockey children, we've got Zimbits rearing its beautiful head. Brace yourselves.

When Bitty gets back to Samwell he’s finally back to normal, or as normal as he gets anyway. He’s never been more grateful for his Foresight. After weeks of recovering he is sick to death of headaches, and wild distorted visions of the future every time he opens his eyes. He’s never been more glad to be able to see himself precisely two seconds in the future, looking down from above. He doesn’t care that he sees things differently than other people, he feels blessed just to be able to See in his own way. He keeps remembering what Jack had said to him, that he’s not less just different and he should play into the strengths he has. He’s not a normal person, but he can live a normal life, a great life, no matter what. So when the frogs show up at the Haus he grins and goes to greet them with Sugar at his side.

“Hey, y’all! I’m Bitty, you remember me from the taddy tour?” He asks brightly. They all nod, or they will, he doesn’t hesitate before continuing. “So you might tell by my eyes but I’m blind as a bat, but I’ve got Foresight though so I just look a few seconds forwards so I can see what’s happening. Only I see it from a point roughly, there.” He explains pointing at “himself” 

“Oh, hello Bitty!” Chowder says brightly, turning his face up towards where Bitty had pointed and waving slightly. In that moment Bitty melts, deciding immediately that this frog is HIS. 

“Oh Chowder, sweetheart you are just too good,” He says with a smile. “letting me see your face properly.” At that Dex and Nursey both direct their gaze up towards where Bitty had pointed. 

“Is it always in the same place?” Dex asks. “Like, relative to you?” 

“When I’m keeping my Foresight focused on me in the next few seconds, yes.” Bitty agrees. “Y’all don’t have to look up all the time though if you don’t feel like. You can just look at my face, no worries. Though I do appreciate getting a good look at you all.” Before they can say anything else Shitty bursts into the room. 

“I sense confusion and excitement! The frogs have arrived!” He exclaims. Bitty laughs. 

“Hey, Shits.” He says with a smile, bumping the fist Shitty offers him. “I’ll let you take over, but I just wanted to introduce you frogs to my seeing eye dog Sugar. Shug, these boys are all friends. Unless any of y’all don’t like dogs in which case I can tell him to keep back.” He adds. 

“Nah, dogs are great.” Nursey says. Shitty frowns at him like there’s something wrong but doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m good with animals.” Chowder says with a grin, the boy has an infectious smile. “My magic makes me good with them. Can I say hello?” He asks. Bitty nods and tells Sugar to say hello. He does. 

“Fair warning, I’m magically empathetic my little bros, so whatever you guys feel I’m gonna pick up on it.” He says. Chowder startles, looking at him in shock and surprise. 

“It’s all good, bro.” Shitty assures him. “I’m not gonna pry or anything, I just pick up on shit.” 

“Oh… I… sorry about that.” Chowder says still sounding hesitant. Shitty laughs. 

“Thanks dude. Not often people realize it’s something to apologize about.” He says. “Anyone else have anything we should be aware of magical or otherwise? If anything makes you uncomfortable let us know. If you’ve got preferred pronouns that aren’t he/him let us know et cetera.”

“I don’t have magic.” Dex says firmly.

“I do but it’s not a big deal.” Nursey answers, “And I… I go by They/them pronouns, it switches, sometimes I’m He but well…”

“You’re genderfluid?” Shitty asks. Nursey nods, looking relieved. “Okay, on our team we tend to use bro and dude universally for all genders, is that a problem?”

“No, I don’t mind. It’s all chill.” Nursey says. “I’ll let you know when I switch but unless I say I’m male at a certain point go with they.” 

“Cool, I’ll make sure the rest of the team gets the message. Well, welcome to the Haus my frogs!” Shitty declares. Bitty steps aside to let Shitty guide the frogs through the Haus, smiling at them as they pass. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack likes the frogs. Dex is grumpy and short with people but he’s a good player and he has a good heart. Nursey is a nice person, but they seem like they’re trying too hard sometimes, trying too hard to be chill. Chowder is the sunniest human being Jack has ever met. Except then Shitty comes to Jack.

“We need to intervention Chowder.” He declares. 

“About what? He’s happy, he’s excitable, he gets along with everyone and he plays good hockey.” Jack protests. 

“He represses more emotions than anyone I’ve ever met. He’s like, there’ll be like half a second of something else and then he buries it down so deep that all you get off him is pure happy and excited. If he keeps doing this shit he’s going to explode.” Shitty says. Jack frowns.

“Really, do you want me to like, check on his past or something?” Jack offers. It’s not something he likes to do, it feels like snooping, but he wants to be able to take care of his team.

“No, I feel like we should just sit him down and tell him that he’s allowed to be something besides happy, you know? I think he feels like, obligated or some shit. I can’t figure out why. But just like, make sure he knows that the Haus is a safe space.” Shitty answers. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you really, I just worry about the kid.” He adds. 

“No, I’m glad you told me, I never would have noticed. It’s my job to look after the guys on this team.” Jack answers. “Text him, and ask him to come talk to us yeah?” He suggests. Shitty flops onto Jack’s bed. 

“Will do!” He says, then a moment later. “He was already on his way so he’ll be here in a minute.” Jack sits down next to Shitty and picks up his book, historical fiction which he enjoys because it focuses on the subjects he enjoys without forcing him to flashback to anything. Sooner than Jack had expected Chowder pops in. 

“Chow!” Shitty says with a smile. “Grab a spot on Jack’s bed, we wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh, what about?” Chowder asks, smile faltering for a moment before returning. 

“That.” Shitty says. “Right there, you got worried, but then all of a sudden you just killed it and went straight back to this overwhelming happy. There’s nothing wrong with being happy all the time, if that’s what you feel that’s fucking awesome bro, but forcing yourself to be cheerful all the time, because you think it’s better or for the sake of appearances isn’t positive. You’re just gonna end up burying a lot of bad crap and one of these days it’s going to come back and blow up on you. I’ve just been worried about you.” Chowder’s face goes through a series of expressions as Shitty speaks. Jack can practically feel waves of fear coming off the guy… which is… weird. Then somehow, like an unstoppable force the smile returns. 

“You don’t get it. I have to be happy.” Chowder says, and he looks genuinely happy despite everything. “Shitty, you feel other people’s emotions right? There’s some bad stuff out there, but they don’t want to make you feel bad, and if they could help it they wouldn’t make you feel the bad stuff. That’s me, my magic. I project my emotions. To anything alive I think, well maybe not plants, but animals and humans. I can keep it to a minimum do my best to restrict it, and direct it, but it’s easiest if I just stay happy. I’m a pretty happy person anyway. Besides, I do let my emotions out sometimes, just not around people. It’s not fair to them. I don’t want to make other people sad. I used to hike out into the woods near my house and cry all the bad out, I had a squirrel who would sit with me. I don’t know why since I made him so sad. Anyway, I don’t like controlling people, so I do my best not to.” He speaks very quickly as if trying to get it all out at once. Shitty looks heartbroken and for once, speechless. 

“Chow, you don’t have to not feel on account of us.” Jack tells him gently. “You’re allowed to feel nervous, or upset, or whatever you want. We can handle getting some background feelings from you.” 

“No, you don’t get it.” Chowder insists. “It’s not just background feelings, well, like, now it is because I’m trying. I figure if I didn’t actively hold it back everyone within roughly a hundred yards of me would feel what I feel, almost exactly as strongly as I do. If I actively try to go further I think I could do maybe a mile in every direction. The day I got into Samwell I lost control, I was so happy my neighborhood had an impromptu block party. It’s a lot. I don’t like to think about what I could make people do, you know? Like, what if I have a really bad day near someone who’s already struggling with depression or something, and then they do something bad. I can’t do that to people. It’s all well and good to say I can feel what I want but I have a responsibility to let other people feel what they naturally feel and not to add negative onto the already awful stuff they do feel. I won’t be responsible for people suffering. I won’t. If that means I have to go cry in the woods all by myself, I can do that, I’m happy to do that.” 

“Hoo-Lee-Fuck.” Shitty breathes. “I’m so sorry, Dude. Chowder, that’s… that’s some heavy shit and I am so fucking sorry. If we can do anything for you, to make it easier, we’re always here.”

“Seriously, thanks for looking out for us, Chow.” Jack says. He had never expected to feel indebted to a frog, but sitting here he can’t help feeling like he and everyone else at Samwell owe Chowder a lot. They’re lucky that Chowder is the one with this ability instead of someone else, someone who would use it against people. Instead, they have this sweet happy boy who just wants to leave people be. 

“Oh, it’s just what I do. It’s my job.” Chowder says with a smile. 

“Have you had a chance recently to let everything out though?” Shitty asks. “We’re kind of lacking in the department of woods to hike into that will get you far enough away from people so as not to affect them, here on campus.” 

“Yeah, it’s been hard. I was thinking about figuring out how to get out to the nearest park.” He says softly. 

“I’ve got a car.” Jack says immediately. “If you ever need to borrow it, or if you want me to drive you, just ask. Anytime Chow.” He promises.

“I’ve got keys to Jack’s car and I’ll take you anytime. If you need me to sit with you, I can do that, Chowder. I’ve dealt with worse than what you’ve got stored up in there, I promise you that. I’ve met some… messed up people. You haven’t got anything that’s going to hurt me.”

“Oh thank you!” Chowder enthused. “You really don’t have to Shitty, I appreciate it but you don’t-”

“I want to.” Shitty says firmly. “You’ve been holding all this shit in thinking it’s too awful for anyone else to feel. It’s not, I swear to you. Listen, I know I act like an idiot sometimes, I know it doesn’t seem like I take anything seriously but I swear, I promise I am dead serious. If you want company, I’m there in a heartbeat. I can take it.” Jack hasn’t heard Shitty this serious in ages, hasn’t heard him talk about the crap he feels since the time they had both gotten to talking about magic after a kegster their freshmen year. He’s seen the drugs Shitty refuses to take, they’re pretty intense, stronger than anything Jack’s ever seen. He can’t really imagine what it must be that Shitty deals with that would call for a doctor to give him prescription pain meds, and high strength antidepressants and a whole cocktail of other things to take all the time, but he can’t imagine it’s pleasant. 

“Okay.” Chowder agrees. “Do you want to… do you want to go now?” He asks. Shitty grins and hops up.

“Just let me grab some pants.” He says going through the bathroom to his own room. Jack watches them leave, and hopes prays maybe that they’re gonna be okay. Once they’re gone he can’t bring himself to just sit and read his book so he pads across the hallway and knock’s on Bitty’s door. 

“Chowder? That you, sweetheart?” Bitty calls. 

“Nope, he went to let off some steam with Shits. It’s just the two of us in the Haus.” Jack answers, pushing the door open. 

“Oh Jack! What is Shitty up to? If he’s corrupting that poor sweet boy I swear-” 

“No, Chow is dealing with some shit and Shits is helping out…. I worry about those two.” Jack admits.

“What’s up?” Bitty asks. Jack shakes his head.

“Not my secrets to tell.” He says apologetically. “But how are you, Bittle?” He asks. He has gotten into a habit of looking up at the place Bitty looks down from when he speaks to Bitty, and then back down at his face when Bitty answers.

“I’m doing alright.” Bitty answers. “Struggling with checking again, but you know that.” 

“Yeah, well it can’t be easy, you hit your head and had to deal with being blind for weeks.” Jack says. “The fact that you’re willing to get back onto the ice at all is incredible.”

“Nonsense, I’m just doing what everyone does.” Bitty answers. 

“The sooner you realize how exceptional you are the better.” Jack tells Bitty, because it’s true and it makes Bitty blush in the most beautiful way.

“Jack Zimmermann! If I didn’t know any better I’d call that flirting.” Eric says, shaking his head. Jack cannot help thinking ‘What makes you think it’s not?’ the words are on the tip of his tongue when he decides not to say it, except Bitty gasps nonetheless. Jack realizes his mistake a moment too late. 

“What were the likelihoods there?” He asks. “Of me saying that?”

“What?” Bitty asks, failing to act like he doesn’t know exactly what Jack’s talking about. 

“You don’t have to act like you don’t know, I told you that you never have to pretend with me.” Jack says with a smile. 

“Jack, you have a right to say what you choose, not what you might have said.” Bitty protests. 

“Then I’ll say it. What makes you think I am not flirting with you, Bittle?” Jack demands. 

“You… you’re…”

“Say straight, I dare you.” Jack says with a smile. “You would assume, here? At Samwell?”

“Oh Lord… Jack, you can’t just… I can’t…” Bitty stammers then shuts his eyes. 

“I wish you wouldn’t.” Jack tells him gently. “You have beautiful eyes.” Then, in the interest of not making Bitty explode he returns to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave Jack a car, not sure if he has a car in canon but he does here so... just go with it. Also we're going to assume that Shitty and Nursey weren't super close at high school, or that Nursey wasn't fully out as genderqueer at the time, Idk man just go with it. 
> 
> I really hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me if you did! I have a rough week coming up and I'm going to need all of you lovelies and your wonderful comments to help me keep going. (Sorry to plead, but hearing from you guys means so much to me).


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up right after chapter nine, and things get a bit... intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, thank you so much for all of the wonderful comments and support on the last chapter, I survived my week! 
> 
> Now you get to survive this chapter! I really hope you like it!

Bitty has no idea what to do. He is sitting alone in his room with his eyes closed and his heart beating out of his chest because Jack Zimmermann was flirting with him. Jack flirted with him, admitted it, and then left. His phone buzzes. He makes the phone read it to him. Siri says: 

“Text from Jack: Sorry dot dot dot that was probably uncool, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

“Siri, text Jack: It’s fine. I liked it, I’m just in shock.” Bitty instructs. Siri reads his text back to him and he tells her to send it before he can chicken out. Then, he opens his eyes because he can’t stand this. He has to keep an iron grip to stop himself from looking any further than a second into the future.

‘You like me flirting?’ Jack replies and Bitty can almost see his surprised face.

‘I’d be a damned fool if I didn’t.’ Bitty answers. 

‘I do it because I love to see you blush.’ Jack sends and Bitty is bright red now. 

‘Jack Laurent Zimmermann, you’re going to kill me.’

‘You’re pretty when you blush.’

‘Says the human Adonis!’ Bitty sends back. 

‘When I first saw you I thought you looked just like an angel.’ Jack texts, quickly followed by. ‘Crisse, I can’t believe I told you that.’

Bitty is pretty sure Jack probably heard his squeal from across the hall and there’s nothing he can do about it. This is ridiculous, this is… what the hell are they doing?

‘What the hell are we doing?’ He asks.

‘Flirting via text while sitting in rooms three feet away from each other.’ Jack answers. ‘Is that okay?’

‘Yeah.’ Bitty sends back automatically. ‘Oh this is stupid.’ He adds getting up and marching across the hall. Jack is sitting on his bed with Daisy in his lap, staring at his phone. 

“Jack.” Bitty says gently. Jack looks up at him, and despite how bold he had been being there’s fear in his eyes. 

“Bits-” He starts, but Bitty doesn’t hear the rest of the statement as he loses his grip on the present moment, on his view of this room, and his Vision soars forwards. 

He sees countless possible futures: a future where Jack is kissing Bitty next to a gorgeous christmas tree in an elegant living room that makes Bitty want to drool, there are ornaments on the tree that are clearly made by children and both of them look considerably older. There’s a future where Bitty is sobbing alone, a picture of Jack on his phone. A future where Jack is lying in a hospital bed and Bitty is at his side, clutching Jack’s hand tight. A future where Bitty and Jack are standing under a sign that says “Bits Bakery.” A future where Jack and Bitty are standing across from each other on the ice, Jack in blue and Bitty with a distinctive red flying wheel on his jersey, a crowd cheering from the stands as a game starts. A future where Bitty and Jack are walking around a fair, a little girl with curly blonde hair walking between them each of her hands in one of theirs. A future where Jack and Bitty are curled up in the bed of Bitty’s truck watching fireworks. A future where Bitty is sitting on a couch hand in hand with a different man, one with light brown hair and hazel eyes. A future where Bitty is standing alone in front of a bakery called “Bittle Bakery.” 

So many futures: some happy, some sad, some alone, some with the brown haired man, occasionally other people pop up, but over and over again he sees Jack. Jack and Bitty in the future, happy sad, going through good and bad times, with kids, without them, playing hockey or not, but over and over the two of them together. Most of the happiest possible futures he sees have Jack in them. Jack and his beautiful blue eyes. Sometimes the kids Bitty sees have his blue eyes, sometimes they have Bitty’s curls, sometimes there are some of both, sometimes girls sometimes boys. Bitty’s favorite future is one where he sees him and Jack on a pond outside a huge, beautiful house. There’s a girl with Jack’s black hair and blue eyes and a little boy who looks just like Bitty did when he was little on the ice with them. Bitty has the girl who looks like she’s about three by the hand, and Jack is holding the boy, who looks no older than one, up by both arms to keep him on his skates. They’re all smiling and laughing, and snow is falling softly. It’s beautiful, it’s everything Bitty could hope the future might be. Some of the worst possible futures are ones in which he has clearly lost Jack, most are breakups, occasionally he sees futures where Jack is dead, though he doesn’t know how he’s died. It horrible. He sees a few where he himself is dead and Jack is mourning him. 

As the Visions fade Bitty shuts his eyes again, closing his Sight off with a gasp. He’s curled up on Jack’s floor, gasping in breath. He want’s to ignore the Visions, to go back to the blissful ignorance that he had had before. It’s too much, too much to see these futures, all of them appearing to be maybe ten years in the future. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with this information. He doesn’t know how to deal with all of these feelings. 

“Bitty? Eric? Are you okay? Bittle, what’s wrong?” Jack asks, obviously crouching next to Bitty. 

“I’m okay, Jack.” Bitty manages to say. “Oh Lord… Jack…” 

“What happened, Bits?” Jack asks. 

“Don’t!” Bitty yelps. “Don’t call me that! Not, not never, just not right now.” 

“I’m sorry, Eric. Do you want me to go? Or get you something?” Jack asks. 

“It’s okay, just, can you help me to your bed?” Bitty asks, holding out an arm. He feels off balance, and he’s not sure he’d be able to find his way to his feet alone right now. Jack takes his hand and pulls him to his feet. He helps Bitty over to his bed where Bitty sits down gratefully. 

“I’m sorry, sometimes I get a wave of Visions further in the future that I can’t stop. Just these huge bursts of possibilities. I never want them. It’s just too much. I just saw… maybe ten years into the future?” Bitty tells him weakly.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jack says gently. “Do you want to talk about it?” He offers carefully. 

“I think, I have to.” Bitty admits. “I can’t not.” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Bitty.” Jack tells him. 

“I do, though. Jack, I saw so many futures, good and bad. I saw you playing with the Falconers against the Redwings, I was playing for the Redwings.” Bitty laughs. 

“That’s fantastic, Eric!” Jack says. 

“It was only one possibility. In another, we were standing in front of my bakery: Bits Bakery.” Bitty says. “One where we were at a fair, with a little girl, who looked just like me. One we were kissing beneath a Christmas tree. One you were in a hospital, injured I think. Another we were skating with two little kids. So many were of us, Jack, the two of us together. Not all of them, some were of me with other people, or alone. But a lot of them were us, the best ones… and the worst ones too. The worst ones were the ones in which we had been together, and I lost you somehow or other.”

“I-” Jack doesn’t say anything for a moment and Bitty opens his eyes, desperate to see him. He’s relieved when he manages to keep his focus in the present, or near as he’s ever been able to manage. Jack is gaping, pale faced, terrified.

“I’m sorry, Jack. It’s too much, I know it is.” Bitty said. “I shouldn’t have told you that I just… It’s both of us, our possible futures. At least in so many of them. And it’s a lot because if we do this right it could be forever and if we don’t it could be horrible.” He added. 

“It’s not your fault, Bits.” Jack manages at last. “That’s a lot to deal with, you’re right. It’s both of us so… yeah… we should… talk.”

“Jack, I’ve clearly scared the dickens out of you, and me. So I’m gonna go back to my room now.” Bitty says gently. “And we’ll talk about all this tomorrow.” 

“Okay. Yeah.” Jack agrees gratefully. “You need any help getting back over to your room?”

“No, but thank you, sweetheart.” Bitty tells him with a smile. He walks back to his room carefully, whistling for Sugar. When Bitty sits down on his bed Sugar surls up by his side, seeming to realize that all Bitty needs is a little bit of comfort. Bitty rested his head on Sugar’s shoulder, reveling in the familiar warmth of the dog’s soft fur.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dates (okay well, talking about first dates) with bonus background Shitty/Lardo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry I don't post on any sort of regular time schedule, I just kinda throw a chapter up every few days, whenever I remember... oh well. Have a chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

Shitty comes into Jack’s room several hours later. Jack is still just sitting on his bed with Daisy in his lap, completely unsure of what to do.

“Jack, brah. Talk to me, I could feel your fear and panic from the street.” He says gently. 

“I… if you knew you could start something and it would either end up being forever, and really positive, but only if you did it right, otherwise it ends really badly. Or you could not, and life would be okay, would you do it?” Jack asks, looking at his friend helplessly. 

“I’m not sure exactly what you’re talking about here, bro? Like a relationship?” Shitty asks.

“Yeah.” Jack agrees quickly. 

“I-” Shitty frowns, cutting himself off. “I wish I could say fearlessly go for it, you know? Like it’s better to have loved and lost and all that? But I’d be a hypocrite. Because like sure the saying is all well and good but what if you can love and not lose? It’s a different kind of love, sure, but it’s gotta be better than losing them forever right? But also can you really survive that, being in love with someone and never being with them, forever? And what if it could have been great and you never go for it, and then you’ve missed that opportunity right? It’s an impossible situation.” He’s rambling and Jack knows that Shitty isn’t talking about Jack anymore. 

“I’m sorry, I’m making this about me, it’s not supposed to be.” Shitty says softly looking down. Jack shakes his head, because sometimes, seeing someone else’s life and their problems, really helps. It helps to focus on someone else and try to help them. 

“Lardo?” Jack asks quietly.

“Lardo.” Shitty agrees with a sigh. “She’s just… she’s everything you know? And like, I love her so fucking much, but I have no idea what she feels about me. I mean I do, she loves me but I’m her best friend and I can’t tell if it’s like a platonic love or a romantic love. It’s just really hard to tell, you know? Because sometimes I think it’s romantic but then I think that’s just me hoping it is.” He says staring at the floor. 

“Shits, you should go for it.” Jack tells him. “Lardo loves you, and whether it’s romantic or not if you talk to her, she’ll hear you out and even if she doesn’t love you that way she’s never going to just drop you. You’ll still be her friend.” He says. Shitty watches him carefully and then nods.

“I think you’re right.” He agrees. “And I think you have an answer for your own problem as well. I don’t know who you’re talking about exactly, but I would hope that the same applies to them.” 

“It might.” Jack agrees, looking down. “I’ll talk to them about it, Tomorrow. But only if you talk to Lardo.” He adds. Shitty sighs.

“Deal.” Shitty says, sticking his hand out with a smile. Jack shakes it. 

The next day Jack knocks on Bitty’s door, hesitantly. Bitty answers almost immediately. It makes Jack smile. Bitty must have known he was about to knock before he did.

“Bitty, can we talk?” Jack asks.

“Yes, of course, I wanted to tell you-” Bitty starts.

“No, listen. Bits.” Jack interrupts. “I want to try this, us, but slowly. We’ll pick up from where we started yesterday, with stupid flirting and maybe I’ll ask you to get coffee with me and we’ll go from there.”

“But- really?” Bitty asks, obviously surprised. 

“Really, Bits. So we know that this could be it for us, but we also know that it might not. The future is uncertain, there are a lot of possibilities, and I’m not letting it scare me.” 

“You’re sure?” Bitty asks. 

“Only if you are.” Jack says, suddenly afraid. “I mean, if you don’t want-”

“It’s not that I don’t want you!” Bitty interrupts. “I just… I wonder why you’d ever want me.” He adds quietly, sitting on his bed and staring at his hands.

“What are you talking about?” Jack asks softly, sinking down to sit next to Bitty.

“You’re you! You’re gorgeous, and smart, and going to be a professional hockey player.” Bitty says. “And I’m me. I’m small, I’m cute but not hot, my eyes scare people, I’m barely scraping my way through classes, partially due to bribery to make up for my extreme procrastination, and I’m blind. Jack, I’ll never be able to look you in the eye. I’ll never look up at you from where I’m supposed to be, I… I’ll never be normal.” The break in his voice, the pain in it, makes Jack want to cry.

“Screw normal.” Jack tells him. And he smiles at that because it’s taken him so long to get to a point where he means that, and he really does. “Seriously. Eric Richard Bittle, fuck normal. You’re not normal. You’re extraordinary. You’re exceptional. You’re beautiful, the way you move, like you’re dancing, like you’re always performing without even meaning to, the way you smile when the sun hits your face. Your eyes, they’re so gorgeous. I told you I thought you were an angel when I first saw you, an angel with galaxies in his eyes, powerful, like you could bring the wrath of heaven upon us all. And you can have your own opinions on whether or not you’re hot, but I don’t agree.” His words make Bitty blush. Jack doesn’t even know where they’re coming from because he never talks like this. Instead of trying to stop them he lets them spill from his lips.

“You’re smart too, you know, just in a different way. You know people in a way I can’t even imagine. You can figure out a million probabilities in less than a second, just to figure out where to put your foot down next so I think you can forgive yourself if you get a math problem wrong here and there. You’re so strong too, stronger than anyone I know. So what if you’re not normal, I don’t care. I don’t care if you can’t see me in the current moment or from a normal perspective. Bitty, it wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t see at all. I wouldn’t care if you had no magic. You would still be one of the most incredible people I know.”

“Jack…” Bitty is nearly in tears.

“Listen, Bits. Do you want coffee? We can walk over to Annie's, pretend that this is normal?” 

“I… yes. Of course, just give me a little bit to get ready.” Bitty says softly. 

“Right, I’ll meet you in the living room.” Jack says awkwardly backing out of the room. 

He runs into Shitty in the hallway. He nearly just makes his way past his friend, but then he realizes that Shitty is wearing pants, and a reasonably nice shirt. 

“What are you up to?” He asks, as they both head downstairs.

“I could ask you the same thing, Jackie boy? You’re grinning like a fool.” Shitty answers with a smile. 

“I have a date.” Jack answers smiling. 

“I am so fucking proud of you, Jack!” Shitty exclaims. “I’m going to meet Lardo and well... I have never been more terrified in my entire life!” He admits laughing nervously.

“It’s gonna be good, Shits. I promise.” Jack tells him, patting him on the back. 

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” Shitty mutters. “She’s going to poison me for being an idiot, I swear.” 

“You’ll be fine.” Jack tells him, nudging him gently towards the door. “Off you go.” Shitty went, screaming under his breath. Jack smiled, and waited for Bitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty are slowly easing into this thing, sorry this is such a slow burn right now but in this story neither of them is about to be reckless, they're both way too cautious and wary for that tbh, so it's moving slowly. We'll get there guys.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty and Bitty and Jack and adorableness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I'm having a rough time in real life now, so chapters might get... scarce for a while and I'm really sorry. I've got like two more written that I'll space out but idk when I'll get around to writing more after this. I'm so very sorry. 
> 
> Anyway I really hope you enjoy this chapter!!

After that first coffee date with Jack Bitty realizes he is done for. He has no chance to escape this. Maybe there was a point of no return before which he could have backed out, not fallen for Jack, not been changed by this forever, but it has passed without him realizing it. Whether they end up together or not Bitty knows that his life is going to be different for having Jack Zimmermann in it. It’s a good different though. Jack is sweet. He buys Bitty coffee, walks with him to class, and helps him bake. He takes pictures of Bitty and tells him that he looks beautiful. He’s always complimenting, always reminding Bitty how incredible he is. It’s only fair, Bitty feels like he spends half his time telling Jack that he’s amazing, because he deserves it. They haven’t kissed. They aren’t really dating yet. Jack is patient. He seems to realize how huge this is to Bitty, how scared Bitty is of it all, and so he waits, but he never shows any signs of impatience or waning interest. 

They wait. They wait and it sucks. Because it’s not as if Bitty doesn’t want to date Jack. It’s not like he doesn’t want to kiss Jack every time he hears Jack’s voice, Sees Jack standing near him, every time he feels him nearby. He wants to kiss Jack, he wants to do a whole lot more too, but every time he almost does he gets scared, wonders if this is the right time, the time that’s going to make this work, because he wants it to work. He wants a future with Jack, whether it’s with the bakery, or them facing off on the ice, whether they go home to an apartment with only dogs or a house with extra rooms for their kids and toys strewn all over the floor. As long as Bitty goes home to the same place as Jack he’ll be happy. And that’s terrifying and huge and he doesn’t know how to make sure it happens. He fights the temptation to look forwards, to check even though he knows it’ll make life harder. Seeing far into the future never brings anything but difficulties and pain, he knows it, but it’s still hard to resist. 

Even with all of the frustration, and confusion, and fear, Bitty is happier than he has been in a long time. Spending time with Jack becomes a part of his daily life. Somehow it becomes the new normal for Bitty to knock on Jack Zimmermann’s door and sit next to Jack on his bed. They study together. Sugar and Daisy like to sit at their feet together while they do. 

Except Jack isn’t responding to his habitual knock. 

“Jack, honey?” He called. “Are you okay?” When he still doesn't get a response he opens the door gently. Jack is sitting on the bed, eyes wide open but unfocused. Daisy is in his lap obviously distressed. Bitty has never seen Jack when he’s having one of his flashes to the past, but he knows what’s going on.

“Jack, sweetheart?” He asks gently, going to Jack’s side. He hesitates but sets a hand on his arm. Jack doesn’t look at him or say anything but he leans into Bitty. Bitty takes that as an indication that he’s helping. He wraps his arms around Jack who leans into him tightly. Jack curls towards him so he holds him close. Bitty just holds him for several minutes until Jack finally moves purposefully, shifting within Bitty’s arms. 

“Bits?” He asks, gently. Bitty releases him. 

“Hello, sweetheart.” He says gently. “I’m sorry if that was the wrong thing to do, I just thought you might want company.” 

“No, it helped. Thank you, Bittle, really. It really helped.” Jack says firmly. “When I get the flashes it’s like I’m really there, I feel it all, see it all, but it helps to have something grounding. That’s why I have Daisy. If I can still feel her fur I know it isn’t real even if it seems real. Having you here is the same, better.” He explains. 

“Well, I’m glad I could help.” Bitty tells him with a smile. Jack smiles back at him. 

“You always help, Bits. Just you being around is…” He can’t seem to come up with appropriate words and Bitty is melting. Suddenly he cannot seem to remember why it matters so much that he times this perfectly. All that seems to matter is that he kiss Jack Zimmermann, and soon. The only thing that stops him is the fact that Jack has just gone through something no doubt traumatic, and he doesn’t want to upset him. 

“I’m glad I help.” He says instead, and he cannot resist pecking Jack on the cheek. Jack blushes and smiles. “Do you want to talk about what you saw?” Bitty asks gently. Jack just shrugs. 

“My mistakes.” He says softly. “The overdose, Kent at the draft without me, my parents when they thought I might die. Kent when I wouldn’t answer his calls, even to tell him I was alive. My dad called him for me. My dad’s been closer with him these past few years than I have. They keep in touch. I know that it’s because Kenny was my best friend, that my parents basically adopted him, but sometimes….”

“Sometimes it still hurts?” Bitty asks gently. “To see him care so much about this other boy that isn’t you? And you can’t help feeling like you’re being replaced by a better model, even if you know your dad would never ever do that to you.” He has his face directed towards his hands so Jack can’t see his face as well but he doesn’t miss the look Jack directs at him. He sighs. 

“My dad’s a coach. I call him Coach, but he was never my coach except the once when I was on a peewee team and that didn’t last particularly long. It was one of his quarterbacks, kid who started off amazing from freshmen year, and he only got better. His parents weren’t super involved in his life, so my dad stepped up. The guy, Darren, was around a lot. Came over to family dinners and all that. I knew my dad loved me, but it hurt.” Bitty explains. 

“What happened?” Jack asks softly. “With Darren?” 

“He was a year younger than me. He got a scholarship, he’s at Georgia State University. Honestly, I’m really happy for him. I resented him when we were in high school but he was a good guy, and he deserved a shot.” Bitty says. It makes Jack chuckle.

“Of course you’re glad for him.” He says. “You’re the kindest person I know, Bittle.”

“Oh, I spent several years hating him, hoping he tripped over a football straight into a damn dumpster where I thought he belonged, it took a long time to get over it.” Bitty answers, blushing. “I guess. I spent a long time hating a lot of people, being angry with a lot of people, including myself. I guess I just decided to be done with it after a while. Being angry doesn’t help me any. Hating Darren, hating the boys who bullied me, hating myself, I had to let it go. Now I’m not saying that I do it well all the time, it’s easy to forget, and hard to practice, but it’s better.” 

“Yeah, I could see that.” Jack agrees softly. 

“Jack, honey. I’m sure you’ve been told a million times, but what happened wasn’t your fault. The overdose.” He says because it’s important. 

“It sort of was though.” Jack sighs. “The anxiety isn’t my fault, but the way I treated people, how bad everything got, that’s on me.” Bitty huffs.

“Treating Kent Parson badly was your fault.” He concedes. “But from what you’ve told me, and what I’ve seen. That was a two way street. You both treated each other bad because you were both stupid kids in really bad places. Jack Laurent Zimmermann, you are allowed to forgive yourself. You cannot punish yourself for this forever. Everyone does stupid shit when they’re teenagers.” 

“Everyone regrets it.” Jack points out. Bitty sighs, resting an affectionate hand on Jack’s arm. 

“Yes, we do. But what we don’t do, or what we shouldn’t do, is let regrets become the strongest force in our lives. They can guide us, make us think twice about something, in the way that you don’t drink, and I don’t tell people about their possible futures. You’re a better man now than you were before, a better friend. And maybe we can make up for some of our mistakes, make amends, I’m not saying that you have to be friends with Kent, I think he’s a dick, I’m just saying… as ironic as it is I’m saying we need to live in the present.” Bitty says, chuckling a little because he hasn’t existed in the actual present moment since he was a child. Still he smiles at Jack who is watching him wordlessly. Words keep spilling from Bitty’s mouth because he needs Jack to understand. 

“It happened, the overdose, all of the bad in your past. It happened and now we’re here. I don’t know what would have happened to you if you hadn’t overdosed that day. Maybe you would have miraculously never been in a situation like that again. Maybe hockey would have saved you. But maybe it wouldn’t have.” Bitty says, and he can’t help thinking about all the possible paths untaken. “And you know what, Jack? I’m glad you’re here. It may have started bad but I think you have a pretty amazing present. You have Daisy. You have a team. You have Shitty. Friends that support you and love you. You’re going to have a degree. And you still have hockey.” 

“I’m glad I’m here too.” Jack says quietly. “I… you’re right. I have so many good things in my life, and I’m really happy to be where I am. I get so stressed, I think I forget, but I am happy. The past haunts me and it’s hard but you’re right. I’m happy now, in this present moment.” He smiles at Bitty like he has given Jack something precious, which makes Bitty blush.

“You’re good at keeping me in the present.” Jack tells him.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” Bitty says with a grin. “I mean, you are not me… you know what I mean.” 

“The past and the future bringing each other into the present?” Jack asks with a smile. “You called us that once the past and the future…”

“I did!” Bitty agrees remembering. It had been a really hard night, but he couldn’t help being fond of the night that they sat together in the reading room. It had been a hard night but Bitty remembered it fondly. It was the start of their friendship, the first time that they had really talked to each other as friends instead of as a Captain and Frog. 

“That night, it was the first night we really talked properly.” Jack says echoing Bitty’s thoughts. 

“Yeah. The past and the future together in the present, it sounds like a plan.” Bitty agrees, grinning. Jack is staring at him and Bitty can’t help seeing a few more moments into the future than usual seeing the possibilities of a kiss. Jack moves towards him, but then he hesitates.

“Can I kiss you, Bits?” He asks gently. Bitty breathes out, giggling a little because Jack is so unbelievably perfect. This boy. This Boy. How did he even exist? Bitty can’t even find the words to answer so instead he surges forwards and kisses Jack. It’s everything he’s been aching for in the past few weeks (months part of him whispered). He closes his eyes against the threat of a wave of future visions, and revels in just being in the here and now, kissing the most amazing boy he’s ever known.

“You’re so perfect, good lord.” The words spill from Bitty’s lips before he can stop them. Jack chuckles, leaning his forehead against Bitty’s gently. 

“So are you, Eric. Crisse I can’t… You’re just…” He can’t find the words and Bitty can’t stop himself from leaning forwards to kiss him again so he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t have any reason to stop himself anymore. Bitty knows that this isn’t going to be easy, the two of them being together. He knows that in the future they’re going to have to figure things out, have hard conversations and make hard choices. But right now, in this moment, everything feels perfect.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty are being adorable and then the happiness is interrupted by angst and team bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I feel like it's been a longer than usual time since I've updated and I'm sorry about that, been busy. We're not done with this story yet! 
> 
> Um okay, so sorry if the angsty stuff in the next few chapters comes a little bit out of left field. Idk this is just how this story happened. A character (who does not exist in cannon but just go with it) dies in this chapter fair warning, if y'all don't want to read my sad bullshit then skip to the end notes and I'll summarize

The next morning finds Jack and Bitty in the kitchen. Jack can’t seem to stop smiling. It’s a problem he can’t remember ever having before, this unstoppable grin on his face, and it almost hurts. Except then he catches sight of Bitty again, Bitty dancing through the kitchen as he attempts to both teach Jack to bake and educate him further on Beyonce, and he can’t stop the happiness from stretching his mouth into a grin. Bitty, for his part, is smiling just as much, and laughing that beautiful laugh that makes Jack’s chest feel tight. The happiness reminds Jack of the way Shitty had grinned at him when he had come back from talking to Lardo, the day of Jack’s first date with Bitty. He hadn’t said that they were together, and nothing about their relationship changed outwardly, maybe they were more touchy feely, but Jack couldn’t tell if he was just looking for it more. Now Jack knows that they are together though. He knows because Shitty loves Lardo and apparently being with someone you love is the cause of this ridiculous level of smiling. He understands the look he has seen on his best friend’s face in the past few weeks. Jack isn’t at all angry with Shitty for not telling him explicitly. Shitty and Lardo keep their relationship to themselves. It’s the way Lardo is, she doesn’t need to be public about her relationships, and Shitty would never go against what Lardo wanted and was comfortable with.

“Jack, you best pay attention before you ruin my pie.” Bitty’s scolding breaks Jack out of his own thoughts. Bitty is so good at that, keeping him present. 

“Sorry Bits.” He answers, returning his focus to the filling he was helping to make. 

“It’s fine, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?” Bitty asks, taking the filling from him to check it. 

“Just thinking about how happy I am.” Jack answers honestly. He doesn’t mention Shitty and Lardo because if they don’t want to tell everyone then he won’t either. 

“You’re too sweet.” Bitty tells him, going on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Now you add… another teaspoon and a half of sugar to that and it’ll be perfect.” He adds grinning. Jack stared down at the pie filling. 

“How do you know? I just mean, so specifically, how do you know?” He asks. Bitty laughs.

“I cheat.” He says brightly. “I see the future remember? When I’m baking I cheat. I look ahead to the tasting of the pie, I follow the possibilities, if I add this or that in X proportion how will it taste? Notice whenever I taste my pies I comment upon their quality? I do it so past me can tell which path to follow. I cheat.” Bitty is beaming, he looks far too pleased with himself. Jack gets the distinct feeling that he is being let in on one of Bitty’s grandest secrets. It’s hidden beneath layers of secrets hiding that Bitty sees all of these possibilities, hidden beneath harder secrets, but this is one Bitty is proud of. 

“You made a practice out of describing your own baking after you’ve made it so that you will have figured out how to make it perfect in the past?” Jack asks, trying to wrap his head around that. Bitty nods.

“There are a quite a few perks to seeing the future.” He says, and watching him Jack can see that he genuinely means it. Bitty’s eyes are bright, the purple swirls of the galaxies in them nearly pink in places. Jack never knows if Bitty’s eyes actually do change color, they galaxies are always blue purple sparkling swirls, but sometimes they look like the shades have changed, it’s hard to tell. He used to struggle not to stare, now he figures it has to be allowed. He has to be allowed to stare at his boyfriend’s eyes, everyone else does it; stare at their significant other. 

“Yeah, I’m sure there are.” Jack agrees. “There are more than a few to seeing the past too.” He admits. Bitty grins. 

“I’m sure you’ve never struggled in taking a history test.” He laughs. 

“Well, sometimes I get into arguments with professors because what is in the textbook is wrong and they don’t believe me, but other than that…” He says grinning.

It’s strange, this comfort between them to talk about the details of their magic. It wasn’t done. Sure Bitty gave an overview to everyone so they would understand how he functioned, and some people like Shitty has no trouble announcing their magic to the world but even he doesn’t talk about the details unless pressed. The only people Jack knows who speak to each other openly about their magics, frequently, and practice them together, are Ransom and Holster. Those two are… something apart from anything he has ever known. Jack doesn’t know if they were a couple, or just best friends. No one could tell and everyone is too afraid to ask. One way or another everyone knows that whatever they had was strong, and permanent. Jack wonders if what he and Bitty have is too. 

Their perfect morning is broken as the door to the Haus burst open. Of all the people Jack has ever expected to burst dramatically into a room looking like they were an inch away from breakdown Chowder is probably the last one. Jack has gotten used to the gentle warmth that everyone absorbs when Chowder is in the room. He’s learned to recognize which emotions are being sent to him by the frog and which are his own. It took a lot of introspection and time to do it. It makes him all the more sympathetic to Shitty. The familiar pleasant warmth is gone. Instead, he feels panic coming from Chowder in waves. It’s stronger than usual too. Jack knows something has happened, something bad. 

“Chris, what happened?” Jack asks, getting in Chowder’s way so that the boy has to stop and take a breath. Chowder shakes his head desperately unable to articulate. 

“Where’s Shitty?” He asks. “I need to go. I need to be very far from everyone.” Chowder is pleading and it’s heartbreaking. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Bitty asks Chowder, concern ringing through his voice. Chowder just shakes his head again. 

Jack looks at Chowder, studying him, and then does something he’s not proud of; he looks back following Chowder. He had started the morning off as happy as ever, had been on his way to hang out with Dex and Nursey when he had gotten a phone call. Jack strained to listen to the voice coming through the phone, and then he understood. It had been Chowder’s mother, calling to tell him that his uncle had been in a horrible accident. Jack didn’t have to flash back to Chowder’s childhood to know that Chris and his uncle had been close, that he had loved his uncle dearly. Coming back to the present Jack sees the desperation in Chowder’s eyes. He’s trying so hard not to feel this. He’s trying not to let himself be sad, for just a little while longer. Trying not to feel because he’s terrified that once he lets any of it in he’s going to lose all his control. Jack thinks he’s probably right but looking at Chowder’s face he knows he can’t send Chris Chow out to the woods with Shitty to grieve his uncle like it’s something to be ashamed of. He can’t do it. He won’t do it. 

“Shitty!” He shouts up the stairs. Shits may or may not be awake yet, but he’ll come if Jack needs him. It is the one indisputable fact of their friendship, they will be there for each other when the other needs them. “Shitty get down here!” 

“I have to go, Jack.” Chowder hisses quietly, seriously. Jack shakes his head. 

“No.” He says softly. “I can’t let you go out there and feel this all alone. I saw, I saw what happened. I’m not putting you in the middle of nowhere right now. We’re a team, and we’re here to support you. No matter what.” He tells Chowder pulling out his phone. He sends a text out to the group that they need to get to the Haus. Shitty is already stumbling down the stairs, Lardo not far behind him, Ransom and Holster following soon after. Shitty takes in Chowder’s face and the emotions he feels off everyone quickly. 

“I’m not letting him go out there, not alone, not even with just you.” Jack tells Shitty who nods. 

“I’ll call the school president, send out a warning, whatever. Everyone will be fine.” 

“You guys! I have to go!” Chowder insists and the panic is getting stronger and Jack is struggling not to let it affect him. He can feel Bitty getting nervous. Jack just guides Chowder to the living room.

“You don’t have to go anywhere Chris.” Jack tells him gently. He can see that his gentleness is breaking Chowder’s determination not to feel, and part of him hates himself for breaking him, for breaking the walls that this boy has spent a decade constructing. Shitty is talking on the phone in the background. He has President Stillson’s private number, no one is quite sure how, and everyone is far too afraid to ask. To their surprise he has never used it in jest. At the moment he speaks with a professionalism that is in stark contrast to his superhero boxers, which are all he is wearing. 

“...Ma’am, I’m trying to help take care of everyone at this university. I feel it would be prudent to warn the student body that they’re about to feel a sadness that is very strong but is not in fact their own. It is a magically projected emotion, and one that cannot be controlled at the moment... I merely want to ensure the safety of all of our students… No it really is unavoidable… No, I cannot tell you whose magic it is, Ma’am, you know that… Thank you Ma’am.” He says at last hanging up. He turns to Chowder.

“She’s going to tell the school, everyone is going to be looking out for one another RA’s will be looking out for people on their floors. No one is going to be hurt by this Chow. It’s fine.” He promises. Chowder is scared, and everyone is watching him, nervous panicky and not sure why. Dex and Nursey came in while Chowder is shaking his head. 

“I can’t. I have to go.” He pleads, but Jack can see and feel that he doesn’t want to.

“No.” Jack says again. “Chris Chow you are a member of this team and if you want us we are going to sit here and support you. You deserve so much better than to have to grieve out in the middle of nowhere. We’ll still take you out there if you want, but Chris, you don’t have to. You don’t.”

“Really?” Chris asks desperately.

“Yes, of course.” Jack reassures. 

“I- thank you.” Chowder manages 

“Jack, could you explain?” Bitty asks, a little desperately. Everyone else nods. Jack looks at Chowder for permission. He knows that if Chowder is sad the guys will comfort him no matter what but if Chow is okay with him telling them then he will.

“I project emotions, and my uncle just died and I’m trying desperately not to make everyone within a one mile radius cry their eyes out but I’m not succeeding.” Chowder spews instead of letting Jack say anything. 

Jack watches everyone’s eyes go wide in understanding, then Bitty holds his arms out to Chowder softly. Chowder collapses into Bitty’s arms, hugging him tight, and bursts into tears. The waves of crushing sorrow are stronger than Jack could have expected. It’s clear from the tears in nearly everyone’s eyes that they’re feeling the same thing. Jack thinks that Chowder might have just let go of his iron control, truly let go, for the first time since he was a child. His grief is exploding from him in a wave that no doubt travels all across campus. Bitty pulls Chowder to the couch and sits with him, keeping his arms around his favorite frog. The other’s join them forming a sort of honor guard around their grieving friend. Dex and Nursey take up residence on the couch next to Chowder. Jack sits on the other side of Bitty. Ransom and Holster sit on the ground against everyone’s legs. Lardo balances carefully on the back of the couch, reaching down to run her hands through Chowder’s hair softly. Shitty is the only one who stays on his feet. He watches them all with clear eyes and a normal expression on his face. 

“I’m going to get everyone some water and tissues.” He tells them softly. He comes and goes several times, passing out tissues, laying a comforting hand on various shoulders. He finds an absurd amount of blankets and wraps them around his pack of crying teammates. Jack watches him in a quiet sort of shock. He himself cannot do much but curl affectionately against Bitty and his friends and try to bear the weight of how horribly sad poor Chowder is. 

“Do you want to talk about your uncle?” Shitty asks Chowder gently. 

“He was my friend,” Chowder whispers quietly. “I mean, he’s my uncle but he is, was, still really young. He always had time for me, always played with me when I was young. I didn’t get to see him as often as we wanted, but he was always my favorite family member. He always came to see us on holidays, he knew me so well. He was just the nicest guy you’d ever meet.” A sad smile stretches across his face as he speaks, the sort of tragic smile that graces the faces of those who have nothing left but to smile through the sorrow. 

“He sounds wonderful.” Shittys says gently. 

“He really was.” Chowder agrees. “I loved him so much.” 

“What was his name?” Bitty asks gently. 

“Samuel Christopher Olsen.” Chowder answers. “My mom loved her brother’s middle name so she named me after him.” 

“Oh, Chow.” Nursey breathes, “You have us now.” They add, then grimace. “Sorry, not saying we replace him. Just trying not to be so grim.” 

“Thanks, Nursey.” Chowder says gently. 

“Of course. You need us and we’re there in force.” Nursey answers. 

“What they said.” Dex agrees. “We’re always here for you Chowder. No matter what.” 

“You guys are the best.” Chowder’s sniffles burst into sobs once more. Jack knows that if he wanted he could probably stop himself from crying, but he doesn’t bother. He just lets the tears flow, it’s oddly liberating. He reaches around Bitty to pat Chowder on the shoulder gently. 

“Bitty, was that pie you were working on done?” Shitty asks. Bitty shakes his head.

“The dough is rolled out and the filling is done I just need to put it together and put it in the oven… oh I left the oven on preheating.” He answers. 

“Okay, well I can’t cook worth a damn but I think I can manage putting a pie in the oven.” Shitty says, and Jack is in awe of his friend. Shitty is so good at this, taking care of his family. 

“It should go in for half an hour to start.” Bitty tells him gratefully. Shitty nods and moves into the kitchen. After some swearing and five times as long as it would take Bitty he comes back victorious with some snacks to tide everyone over until they had fresh pie. 

“I’m not saying you have to eat.” He declares dumping the food in front of them. “I’m just saying that there’s food.”

That’s how the day goes, with pie and blankets and cuddling, and talking about things in the most positive way possible at a time like this. Chowder cries, and cries, and lets his teammates hold him and comfort him in a way Jack is sure he hasn’t allowed in over a decade. Shitty takes care of them all, keeping it mostly together, until he just can’t either. When Shitty cries he curls against Jack’s chest, trusting his best friend to take care of him and Lardo stays right by his side. Once Shitty’s done crying, and has moved to a chair she sits in his lap like he’s a chair and he wraps his arms tight around her. They take it in turns, without having to announce it, to be strong and look after everyone for a few hours, and then to let everyone take care of them. Through it all Chowder stays in a protective ring of teammates, Dex and Nursey practically glued to his sides like guard dogs. The actual dogs are as upset as everyone else. Daisy runs from person to person desperately trying to comfort everyone. It’s her job to comfort people when they’re distressed. Sugar, for his part, follows her around and enthusiastically loves on anyone who wants to pet him. 

It’s one of the hardest days Jack has ever suffered through, but it’s also… not. Everyone is sad, Chowder is hurting, but they’re all there. All of them are there for each other, crying with each other and no one judging the others for it. He knows that from now on they’re going to be a family, forever. He knows he’s going to look back at this day and say ‘That’s the day we became a family, that’s when it became permanent.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chowder's uncle dies and he's in a really bad way so Jack gathers the team up and refuses to just send Chowder to mourn in the woods all alone, so they all huddle up in the Haus and cuddle and cry and comfort their poor baby frog. The team bonds, Chowder loves them so fricking much for being willing to suffer with him. The rest of the campus feels some of it, but everyone is okay (well okay haven't got to describing that bit in this chapter yet but that's where it's going) 
> 
> Again I'm sorry for the angstiness, and all that I just really needed Chowder to realize that the world will not end if he loses control every now and then as long as proper precautions are taken. So yea


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of The Day Of Angst, with even more team bonding and zimbits!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the day Chowder's uncle died from Bitty's perspective with lots of happy frog bonding and some zimbits being adorable

Towards the end of That Day, (Bitty already knows it will forever be referred to as such) they are all a little delirious. Chowder is asleep, lying across Dex and Nursey’s laps. Dex is holding onto his legs gently, and Nursey is running his hands through his hair. Bitty can’t help watching them curiously. There’s something in the way Nursey and Dex care for Chowder that is deeper than the brotherly (or nearly parental in Jack and Bitty’s case) way that the rest of the boys treated him. 

“Nothing more exhausting than crying.” Nursey murmurs looking down at Chris. “Can never stay awake, despite trying.” 

“Hey, Nurse…?” Dex asks, leaning his head on Nursey’s shoulder. “Not trying to be a dick… but is there something different about the way you’re talking?”

“No.” Nursey grit out, their face clearly distressed. Dex raised his eyebrows. “So?” Nursey demanded defensively. “There might be, but that’s business for me.” 

“Okay, sorry. I wasn’t trying to get into your business.” Dex picks up his head, so it’s not on Nursey anymore. Instantly, Nursey looks like they regret their words.

“Sorry.” Nursey murmurs. “I… it’s my magic. I usually control it, but…” They're obviously struggling. They take a breath, waiting a couple beats to collect themself.

“I speak in poetry…” Nursey starts, and when they explain it comes out as a perfectly crafted sonnet. Bitty was not good at poetry, but even he could recognize a Shakespearean sonnet.

“That was beautiful.” Dex says softly. Everyone else nods. Nursey shrugs.

“It is just normal/It’s never been hard for me/plain speech is harder.” They answer. 

“That was a haiku.” Chowder’s voice surprises them all, he sat up a little. “Sorry, I woke up, but I didn’t want to interrupt.” His voice is heavy with sleep, and he looks far from properly awake. 

“Haikus are easy/they don’t have to rhyme often/they sound more normal.” Nursey says. They take a deep breath. “I normally speak a sort of free verse. Like slam poetry, but all the time. It’s only when I’m stressed, or upset and not focusing that I fall into classic poetry forms, rhyme, set line numbers or syllables. Not sure why.” 

“Why don’t you just let yourself speak in poems?” Dex asks. “They’re pretty. Suits you, you know?” 

“Thank you, but I like having the choice, to be able to blend in if I want. Another thing marking me different isn’t always what I want.” Nursey answers. 

“Well, I agree with Dex.” Chowder mumbles, laying back down across his friends. “It’s pretty, like you.” He adds sleepily, eyes already closed. Nursey looks embarrassed but returns their hand to Chowder’s hair. 

“Is that what you meant too?” They ask Dex, apparently unable to resist. Dex blushes and elbows them lightly. 

“Shut up, Nurse.” He mutters. 

“Guys, we should really all get some sleep.” Shitty says before Dex can implode. 

“I don’t want anyone walking back to the dorms tonight.” Jack says quickly. 

“Nah, I’ll bunk with Shits.” Lardo says fearlessly. After the day they have had no one had the energy left to be surprised. 

“I can find another spot to sleep if you want my bed, it’s big. All three of you might even fit, if you’re willing to squeeze.” Jack offers the frogs. Dex and Nursey exchange a look and then shrug. 

“Yeah, alright.” Dex agrees with a smile. “Come on, Nursey, help me carry Chow up.” 

“Of course.” Nursey’s smile is bright. “Thanks, Jack.”

“You two look after him.” Jack answers. “He’s had a long day.”

“Of course.” Dex and Nursey both clearly take that order very seriously as they carefully carry their sleeping friend up the stairs to Jack’s room.

“You want one of our bunks” Ransom asks Jack. Bitty seeing the look Jack would give him before he gave it, grins.

“It’s cool guys.” 

“It’s no trouble, we share all the time anyway.” Holster points out. 

“Does that mean you two are together?” Shitty asks, jumping on the moment. 

“We are in the same place most of the time.” Holster teases. 

“Come on man, you have to ask?” Ransom adds, both of them laughing. They both get to their feet and head upstairs. 

“I still don’t know…” Shitty says with a sigh. Bitty knows for a fact that Ransom and Holster are dating, but chooses not to enlighten Shitty. It’s more fun this way. Lardo drags Shitty up to his room before he can say anything else. Jack turns to Bitty, and Bitty can’t help but smile at how awkward Jack is. He knows what Jack’s trying to figure out how to ask, he can See several versions of a stammered question in the future. 

“You need a place to sleep, honey?” Bitty asks, taking pity on him. 

“I did just give my bed away to three frogs.” Jack agrees, smiling. 

“Well, I can always bring a couple blankets down to the couch.” Bitty teases. Jack’s face falls so dramatically that he actually feels guilty. “Oh honey, I was joking. You’re coming with me.” He says standing and offering Jack a hand. Jack takes it and lets Bitty pull him up to his bedroom. Bitty pulls Jack into his bed. Jack wraps his arms tight around Bitty. It’s warm and soft, and peaceful, right up until they’re hit by a giant ball of fluff.

“Sugar, what the hell?” Bitty demands a little desperately. “Sorry Jack, it’s just, he normally sleeps with me.” He apologizes. Jack shifts but tightens his arm around Bitty. 

“It’s fine.” He assures. He whistles softly, and Daisy dashes into the room and lands on Jack. “Daisy usually sleeps with me too. We can all fit just fine.” 

“How are you so perfect?” Bitty murmurs softly, half asleep already. 

“I don’t know if I am, but you deserve perfect so I’ll try to live up to that.” Jack whispers back.

They fall asleep curled together, with Sugar and Daisy piled on top of them. The four of them making one big happy pile of hockey boys, blankets and fur. Bitty thinks, as he drifts off, that this is the start of something big, something amazing. He doesn't need to see the future to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all cool with polyfrogs? Because that's where this is going now... I can change it if people are really against it but from where I'm sitting Dex and Nursey and Chowder all love each other, support each other, and are always there for each other. So let me know opinions on that!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty talking about their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive I swear! Sorry for the long break between chapters I was on spring break in Barcelona! It's a really beautiful city I had so much fun!
> 
> Have a short little chapter of Jack and Bitty waking up together and talking about their relationship and what they're telling people.

Jack wakes up next to Bitty, with Sugar sleeping across both of their legs and Daisy on top of his chest. He has never been happier in his life. He can’t help thinking about all the futures Bitty had told him about, thinking about the possibility of having this forever. It’s something he wants more than he thought possible. It’s almost terrifying how much Jack wants this. He hasn’t been this passionate about anything besides hockey… ever in his life. It’s a lot. Jack knows it’s a lot, probably too much, but Jack Zimmerman has never done things halfway. He keeps thinking about how wonderful it would be to build a life with Bitty, and have years and years of happy memories to flash back to. He doesn’t know what it would be like, to have years of his own history that are happy and safe and not lonely. 

Of course then the rest of it all floods back in. If Jack wants this, and hockey (and he’s not giving up hockey for anything) it’s going to be hard. Jack’s always known he’s had the potential for this in his future. Ever since he realized he’s bisexual he knew life was going to be harder. He’s seen the way people have treated people in same sex relationships throughout the years. He’s seen the way people, both in the LGBTQ community and out of it, treat bisexual people. Being with Bitty makes things more difficult in the next few years. Jack can’t afford to be the first out NHL player in his rookie year, which sucks, but hopefully Bitty will understand. They have to talk about it. They have to talk about what they’re telling the team. Still, despite everything swirling around his head, Jack stays firmly rooted in the present with Bitty curled up against him, and the dogs lying on top of them. 

Bitty blinks awake sleepily, and Jack is reminded of thinking that Bitty was an angel. Even sleep tousled and half covered by his large white dog Bitty looks perfect. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Bitty murmurs. Jack leaned over to peck Bitty on the cheek, carefully so as not to disturb the dogs. 

“Good morning.” He murmured. “How are you?” 

“I’m just fine, worried about Chowder still. I never knew…”

“No one knew but Shitty and I.” Jack reminds him gently. “Chow didn’t want anyone to know at first. He doesn’t want people to think he’s manipulating them.” 

“Oh, we all know he wouldn’t do that.” Bitty sighs. 

“I know, but it’s hard. He feels responsible, he worries that he’s going to affect people’s lives. That maybe if he actually lets his sadness out it’ll push someone over the edge.” Jack murmurs. 

“It’s so much to carry.” Bitty says softly. “Poor Chowder, he’s such a sweetheart.”

“He does alright, better than anyone else would in his place I think.” Jack muses. “I mean yesterday, he limited it down to just the Haus after an hour or two, Shitty said.” 

“He has everything on lockdown, doesn’t he?” Bitty asks. “Never thought I’d meet someone with more self control than me, but I only have to control my Sight he has to control his emotions.” 

“It is really impressive.” Jack agrees. “I just worry that everyone else won’t think so. I mean no one knows that it was Chow but going back to class on Monday, I don’t want him to run into a bunch of people who are angry at him or anything. I pushed him to stay…”

“It was the right choice.” Bitty tells him. 

“I hope so.” Jack agrees. “I just worry-”

“You worry too much.” Bitty interrupts. 

“Mhm… maybe.” Jack agrees. “Speaking of, we should probably talk.” He adds, picking up Daisy and sitting up. 

“About what specifically, a lot has happened these past couple days.” Bitty points out. Jack can feel the memories of the past few days dancing at the edge of his mind, trying to make him lose focus and go back. He sighs and shoves them back into the past where they belong. 

“Our relationship and what we’re telling people.” He answers, once he has collected himself. 

“Well… I suppose that’s sort of up to you.” Bitty answers after a moment. “I can’t imagine you want to come out before heading off to the NHL.”

“No, not really. I just want to have a shot to show what type of player I am before everyone starts judging me for my sexuality as well as my dad and my overdose.” Jack confesses.

“Of course.” Bitty agrees. “That’s fine, sweetheart. I grew up as a gay boy in the south, I can keep a secret.” He says with a smile. Jack nods.

“And the team here?” He asks. “I’m pretty sure Shitty knows, or will know soon. It’s kinda hard to hide things from him.” He points out.

“That’s alright.” Bitty agrees softly. “That boy would die for you. He’s not going to out you.” 

“I know, but do we tell other people, or keep it to us and Shits? I just, I’m not sure what to do.” Jack confesses. 

“Personally, I trust the guys. I would trust anyone in this Haus right now with my life. Especially after yesterday.” Bitty tells him. “But you don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to.” 

“I think we should tell them.” Jack agrees softly. Bitty knows how hard it must be for Jack right now. He had a lot on his shoulders. 

“Okay.” Bitty agrees. “But not right now. Right now we cuddle.” He adds, curling into Jack happily and snuggling into his blankets. 

“Sounds perfect.” Jack agrees. 

“I’ll make brunch and we can tell everyone then.” Bitty tells hims softly. Jack nods, and kisses him on the cheek. He’s a little overwhelmed by how much he loves this boy. He won’t say it yet, it’s far too soon for that, but this is just… He adores Eric Bittle. More than he thought possible. The other rather incredible thing is how much he just loves his life in this moment. Even with all of the worry over Chowder, and his future, and how he would handle a potential long distance relationship, it all feel… possible. That’s the wonderful thing about Bitty; he’s so bright, positive, and strong, that just being around him, and especially being loved by him, makes anything feel possible.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty tell their teammates. Bitty talks to the frogs, and then Shitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I should know better than to try to write two multichaptered WIPs at the same time! My other fic absolutely devoured all my time and creative energy, and I'm so sorry about that y'all. I swear from here on out we will have semi-consistent updates!
> 
> This chapter solidifies the polyfrogs relationship! Which I discussed with a lot of y'all before I vanished for several weeks.

Things go over better with the team than Bitty had hoped. 

“Well, yeah, we kinda figured.” Holster says when they tell the guys.

“Yeah, I mean you guys have gone on a lot of dates, haven’t you?” Chowder asks. 

“I- Yeah, I guess we have.” Bitty answers, a little stunned. 

“Were we all supposed to pretend it wasn’t happening?” Ransom asks curiously. 

“No,” Jack says. “I honestly didn’t think you’d notice it was different than any of us hanging out.”

“You are all idiots.” Lardo told all of her boys affectionately. 

“Listen guys, you can’t tell anyone.” Bitty reminds them gently. “Jack isn’t out to the world, and he can’t be yet. And no that’s not the future telling, that’s just common sense.” 

“Of course.” Shitty says automatically.

“Thanks, Shits.” Jack says. Bitty adores the way Jack and Shitty grin at each other. Bitty knows he and Jack lean on each other a lot these days, and understand each other in a lot of ways, but he also knows Jack and Shitty are best friends and they always will be. 

“None of us will tell anyone.” Holster promises, looking around. “And if anyone outs our boy, they’ll hallucinate for the rest of their lives.” 

“Ooh, we could definitely swing that.” Ransom agrees chipperly.

“Threats aren’t necessary.” Jack says shaking his head.

“But it would be so much fun.” Holster says brightly. 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Nursey swears.

“Neither will I.” Dex swears.

“I could never, Jack, you’re the best. After yesterday… You guys are really the best friends I could ever have.” Chowder says with a smile. 

“We’re all here for each other is the point.” Shitty says with a smile. “Speaking of which, I don’t know what it’s gonna be like out there after yesterday. Whatever happens, Chris, we’re all here for you.” 

“As long as I have you guys I’m gonna be okay.” Chowder says. Bitty smiles at him, and serves him up some extra pancakes, feeling hopeful. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s really not that bad. Samwell has had a surprisingly accepting reaction to their few hours of sadness, the day before. Everyone seems to have come together in an introspective sort of way. Still some people complain and wonder who caused it. But no one seems as angry as any of them might have expected. Chowder seems pleasantly surprised by all of this. Miraculously, or maybe not, Dex and Nursey have been getting along very well. In fact the three frogs are practically always together in a way that makes Bitty curious. Two weeks after That Day, Chowder flies home to spread his Uncle’s ashes with his family. 

“Call us when you get home.” Dex was saying, over the phone, talking to Chowder who was waiting in the airport. Nursey was standing next to him, listening in. 

“Right, talk to you later.” Dex said, a smile on his face. “I- bye Chow.” He hangs up, something obviously unsaid. 

“So I know it’s not really my business, but what’s going on between the three of y’all?” Bitty asks. Dex and Nursey both jump. They must not have noticed him come downstairs. He shakes his head. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

“It’s chill, Bits.” Nursey says with a smile. “Not a secret or anything we’re just still sort of figuring it out.” 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining things.”

“Nope.” Dex answered. “And honestly I don’t know what there is left to figure out Derek. We’re dating, all of us. What more is there to it than that?” He asks, teasing.

“Wow, somehow I never thought you would be the most chill with having two boyfriends.” Nursey says grinning.

“Boyfriend, is it?” Dex asks. 

“Today.” Nursey agrees. 

“Okay, so I have two boyfriends, who are amazing, and wonderful, whom I adore. I really see nothing to be unchill about. This is the best thing to happen to me since… possibly ever.” Dex answers, blushing a furious shade of red. 

“Oh, my god, y’all are adorable.” Bitty says brightly. Then catching sight of some future probabilities he blushes and shakes his head. “I’m going back upstairs, you’d best not defile my kitchen. Don’t play innocent Derek Nurse I can’t read minds but I know what you were thinking. You go home for that.” 

Both of the boys look suitably embarrassed but Nursey grabs Dex by the hand and drags him out of the Haus presumably towards one of their dorms .

“Be safe!” Bitty shouts after them, just to make Dex flush an even darker shade of red. 

“What was that I heard?” Shitty asks, coming down the stairs. “I felt love and a whole lot of embarrassment, dish!” He tells Bitty.

“Oh, I was just talking to Dex and Nursey about the nature of their and Chowder’s relationship.” 

“Oh yeah, the frogs are totally an item. Give it up for some happy healthy polyamory, huh?” Shitty says with a grin. “I’m so proud of them.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Bitty says with a smile. “I think they’re gonna do well. Together, and just in life.” 

“They really will.” Shitty agrees with a smile.

“So will you, Shits.” Bitty tells him. “I know you don’t want to think about what’s coming, but you’re going to do so very well.” 

“Thanks, Bits.” Shitty tells him with a smile. “I love you man.” 

“You’d best not hurt Lardo though, because that girl is a queen and she will murder you and I will help her hide your body.” Bitty adds with a smile. 

“You’re right, she is a queen.” Shitty agrees. “And I love her more than life itself. Honest to god, Bitty, if I ever hurt her she can poison me, I’ll deserve it. I’m going to love her for as long as she lets me.” 

“I know the feeling.” Bitty says, smiling at the floor.

“So does Jack you know,” Shitty tells him. “That boy loves you so much.” Bitty blushes, happily. 

“I know.” He says quietly. Jack still hasn’t said it yet, and neither has Bitty, but they don’t really have to, not yet. They both know how they feel about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For what it's worth in my world Dex and Chowder and Nursey are all together, but Chowder is also dating Farmer (Their relationship starts after the polyfrogs relationship in my head canon). So yeah, hope everyone's okay with that. We have a frogs chapter coming up next to discuss all of this as well as Dex's magic!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about the frogs and Dex's magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen Y'all I'm really sorry this took a while to get out to you. My beta and I are hella busy with real life right now. Finals week is upon us and all that horrible nonsense.

Dex feels like he was going to combust when Nursey walks into the Haus living room wearing a burgundy lipstick. They look absolutely stunning. They usually do. Dex will admit to himself that he had been confused when he first met Nursey. He hadn’t known what nonbinary or genderfluid really meant and he certainly hadn’t met anyone who was both. He had barely come to terms with his own not-straightness when he arrived at Samwell. So being faced with this gorgeous human who flouted every sense of stereotypical had thrown him for a loop. And then there was Chowder who was one of the most beautiful people Dex had ever met physically and personality wise. He was so strong and just incredible. It hadn’t taken Dex particularly long to fall hard for both of them. He had panicked at first, convinced that if he could get either of them he would have to choose. Instead he had somehow found himself with the most wonderful boyfriend and a practically miraculous significant other. 

It had been Chowder’s idea for the three of them to get together. Chowder, apparently had known that he was polyamorous before even coming to Samwell. It made sense to Dex. Chowder had so much love to give. Dex couldn’t imagine trying to keep Chowder all to himself. Once upon a time Dex would have thought that he would be a jealous person, but he just… isn’t. He isn’t jealous of Nursey and Chowder being together without him when he is busy. He isn’t jealous when Chowder starts dating Caitlin as well. He had been so nervous talking to Dex and Nursey about it but neither of them minded. Farmer makes Chowder happy and anything that makes Chowder happy is okay in his partners’ books. Besides Farmer is just an amazing sort of person, she gets along well with Nursey and Dex. It’s easy for them to all hang out together.

Dex is happy with all of his relationships. He isn’t really used to them yet though. He isn’t sure he would ever be used to how amazing his partners are. They are honestly overwhelming. Case in point: Nursey in burgundy lipstick. Dex glances over at Chowder who is sitting next to him and sees that he is staring at Nursey with an intense light in his eyes that makes Dex’s stomach flip. He adores his partners. 

“Hey you two. How are my favorite people?” Nursey asked leaning down to kiss Chowder and then Dex. Dex is half a second away from making a joke about not knowing how Bitty was, but he is caught off guard once more as Nursey drapes themself over Dex’s lap. 

“Good.” He manages to croak.

“I’m great!” Chowder says brightly. Nursey grins at them both. 

“You look really good today.” Dex says trying not to turn bright red and failing. Nursey kisses him on the cheek. 

“Thank you. You are, as always, stunningly handsome.” They say with a smile. Dex blushes and then as normal thoughts return he frowns.

“Nurse… what’s up?” He asks suspiciously. Nursey’s eyes widen with an expression of innocence so practiced it made him look guilty as hell. 

“What do you mean?” They ask.

“I mean you’re acting weird.” Dex tells them. “Like you want something from me.”

“I can’t compliment my boyfriend without wanting something?” Nursey asks. 

“Do you want something?” Dex asks. Nursey sighs.

“I just wanted to run a thought past you.” They admit at last. “I wanted to talk about Magic.” 

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to me Nurse.” Dex grumbles. “You two are the ones with magic.” 

“Yes, we do have magic…” Nursey agrees. “But I’m not convinced that you don’t have it too.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Dex growls shifting Nursey off of his lap so they were sitting between Dex and Chowder. “I haven’t noticed any magic since I was seven years old.” 

“Not all magic is obvious.” Chowder points out. 

“Don’t take his side!” Dex protests, feeling betrayed. 

“Dex, when was the last time you bought tools?” Nursey asks.

“My dad gave me my toolbox when I was eleven.” Dex answers. Nursey nods. 

“And what did it have in it then? Probably a hammer, screwdrivers, wrenches, your basic toolbox right?” 

“Exactly.” Dex agrees.

“Dex, I saw you pull a soldering iron out of your toolbox the other day.” Nursey points out. “You’re telling me you didn’t buy it, you didn’t put it there?”

“No, I guess my dad must have gotten it for me at some point. Why does it matter?” Dex asks a little grumpily. He can’t remember how the damn iron had gotten there. It was there, which is good because he had needed it to fix the wiring on the dryer.

“Dex, why would your dad get you a soldering iron and not mention it? The way you talk it sounds like presents aren’t the most common thing in your household. It would be a really nice thing for him to get you a new tool.” Nursey says calmly. They aren’t wrong. “I’ve seen you use an electric drill. Where did you get it from? Let me guess, your toolbox, yeah?”

“Yes…” Dex answers. He hadn’t bought the drill either… and drills were expensive, it would have been a big deal if his parents had bought it for him. Except he can’t remember getting it. It was just there and he hadn’t questioned it. He had needed it, he had reached into his toolbox and there it was. He hadn’t paid attention to it; he had been focused on fixing something, getting the job done. 

“Dex, honey, when was the last time something you fixed broke again?” Nursey asked. 

“The oven kept breaking again and again.” He hisses. It was personally offensive honestly. 

“When it first happened you stared at it like it had killed your first born child.” Chowder mentions.

“Well, it had never happened to me before.” Dex snaps irritably. Then sighs because that was exactly what Nursey was trying to get him to say. 

“Dex, you don’t have to listen to me. It’s just something I’ve noticed. I think you have magic when it comes to fixing things. Whenever you need a tool it appears, whenever you fix something it stays fixed unless it’s truly just a complete disaster like Bitty’s poor oven.” 

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Dex says in disbelief. “I… I would have noticed…”

“Just think about it okay?” Nursey asks gently.

“Okay…” Dex agrees, feeling shaken. Nursey kisses him again. Chowder gets up and comes over to kiss Dex soundly. “We should take a nap.” He declares.

“That sounds perfect.” Nursey agrees. Dex nods, head still spinning. Afterwards he is going to find something broken and he is going to really figure out what the hell was going on. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day Bitty comes home to hears shouting from the basement. He hurries down quickly to make sure no one is dying. Instead he finds his frogs celebrating something in the basement. Chowder is actually jumping up and down and Nursey has lifted Dex into the air and is spinning him in a circle before setting him back down. 

“What’s going on?” Bitty asks smiling. “What are we celebrating?” 

“I have magic!” Dex gasps, grinning helplessly. “I fix things! I didn’t know! I never knew!” 

“Oh sweetheart, that’s wonderful.” Bitty says with a smile. He is never one to say that Magic is an inherently good thing, but Dex is obviously happy. Besides, it’s not like Dex suffers any hard side effects from his magic. He is one of the only ones from what Bitty can tell. Still --Bitty thinks less bitterly-- it isn’t like magic is a bad thing.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation and Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short and sweet. I'm really sorry updates are so few and far between y'all. I'm just busy trying to sort my life out, I finished one semester a week ago and now summer semester starts tomorrow... Woooh... I was also busy finishing the rough draft of an original work which was sort of consuming my writing time. I promise I'll finish this story I just can't promise you when

Graduation sneaks up on Jack and Bitty like a thief in the night. More accurately it sneaks up on them like a friend trying to play a prank that you know is coming, but you ignore them so they’re surprised when you don’t react; except you ignore them too hard and they still manage to startle you. In other, much simpler, words, they knew it was coming but had been ignoring it right up until it was directly on top of them. All of a sudden Jack finds himself in his room asking Bitty which tie he should wear with his suit under his cap and gown. Bitty had a good eye for color and how it worked with surrounding colors given his bird’s eye view of things. 

“Blue, it’ll look beautiful with your eyes.” Bitty tells him with a smile. Sugar bustles into the room and Bitty grabs him firmly by the collar.

“Oh no you don’t!” He orders. 

“What?” Jack asks mildly.

“He wanted to come say hello and get your pants covered in white fur.” Bitty says with a smile. Jack notices that Bitty had carefully grabbed the dog so as not to get coated in fur himself. Jack chuckles and reaches over to pet Daisy who is perched on his bed.

“This is why black dogs are better.” He says with a smile.

“Only if you’re a vampire who only wears dark colors.” Bitty chirps coming over to straighten Jack’s tie. Jack chuckles, allowing himself to be pulled down into a kiss. The two of them finish getting ready before they make sure their dogs are in their harnesses and on their leashes. Then they leave for graduation. The whole thing is a whirlwind of speeches, walking, more speeches, pictures with friends and family, trying to interact kindly with Shitty’s parents, saying goodbyes to friends as they all split off, and then Bitty is hugging Jack tight.

“I have to go pack up so I can catch my flight home.” He says quietly. Jack holds onto him tightly for a moment, wishing he could never let him go.

“I will miss you so much.” Jack tells him. 

“I’ll miss you too.” Bity says. “But don’t worry, we’ll call each other all the time, and you’re coming down for the fourth.” He adds with a smile. 

“I know, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.” Jack whispers. “I’m moving to Providence and I just wish you could come with me Bits.” He confesses. Bitty blushes pressing his face into Jack’s chest as he holds onto him tightly. 

“I know. I wish I could too, sweetheart. Hopefully someday.” He murmurs. 

“Call me when you get home safe?” Jack asks hopefully. Bitty nods.

“Of course.” He agrees. “I’d better go. Goodbye Jack. I-” He hesitates with an odd look on his face that Jack doesn’t understand. Then he just smiles, “I’ll call you later.” He says. 

“Bye Bits.” Jack says softly. As he watches Bitty walk away he can’t help feeling like he had forgotten something, like there was something else that he should have said. He figures it was just because he doesn’t want to leave his boyfriend. He assumes that right up until he talks to his dad and then he realizes that he is a ridiculous moron. He tells his father that he’ll be back before taking off running across campus. When he gets back to the Haus he thinks that he missed Bitty for half a second before turning to find him in Jack’s old room. His chest tightens at the sound of Bitty crying his way through Halo. 

“Bits.” Jack gasps, still breathing hard.

“Jack?!” Bitty asks whirling around and pulling his headphones out. His eyes shoot open, they had obviously been closed or Jack never could have snuck up on him. “Honey, what’s wrong? You’re all out of breath! You could have called!” Bitty exclaims. 

“Sorry, I needed to tell you in person.” Jack says quickly, trying to speak before Bitty Sees what he’s going to say. “I love you, Bitty. I love you so much, and I needed to tell you before I left.” 

Bitty leans up and kisses Jack like it might be the last thing he ever does, desperately, passionately, adoringly. Jack kisses him back, hoping Bitty can feel just how much he loves him. Bitty pulls back after a long moment, both of them a little breathless. 

“I love you too.” Bitty says smiling so wide that Jack feels like he might be projecting actual warmth, to melt Jack’s heart into a helpless puddle. 

“I should have said before, because I’ve known for a long time, I just didn’t know when the right time would be. I was worried about putting too much pressure on us, especially with everything else…” Jack says hesitantly. Bitty smiles at him and shakes his head.

“It’s fine. We already decided that we’re not going to change things based on what I See, or Saw. We’re in the here and now. Here and now, in the present, I love you.” Bitty says grinning. His phone buzzed making him hold it up to check his email. Jack smiles fondly. Bitty often held his phone nearly normally in public but when he was comfortable with the people around him he would hold his phone higher up and to the side where it would be easier for him to See it and read it from the perspective he Saw from. Jack finds it sort of endearing, loves seeing that Bitty is comfortable.

“My flight is delayed.” Bitty says with a grin. Jack frowns.

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” He asks a little confused. Bitty shakes his head, pulling Jack back across the hall to his bedroom. 

“Not right now, because now I have time to make sure you have one more good memory to have for this summer.” He says with a devious smirk. He shuts the door sharply behind them. Jack grins helplessly, knowing already that would be a moment he flashed back to frequently and on purpose.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourth of July, missing each other, meeting falconers etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm fucking alive y'all... I actually wrote this a while ago but never posted it. I'm gonna get all the stuff I have for this fic up, and then I'm going to maybe try to actually finish it. No promises: I am a living breathing disaster in the shape of a human so who knows if I will be able to do this. I will say, if I do manage to finish this I am probably just gonna switch into past tense (so far, this is all been in present or I've tried, but I habitually write in past and I keep slipping up and I'm probably just gonna give up...

Bitty misses Jack even more than he had expected. He’s forgotten how different Samwell is from Georgia. He had gotten so used to his teammates, and Jack being around all the time. At Samwell Bitty always has someone to talk to. They’re all so accepting and supportive and they know him so well. He doesn’t have to worry about who he’s out to, he doesn’t have to worry about people treating him like the town freak. People at Samwell know Bitty and Sugar and they like him. People at Samwell respect Bitty. In Madison the only people his age are the people he used to go to high school with. Generally they did not get along with him. He knows they all think he is a bit of a freak. More than anything they have no respect, they’ll mess with Sugar when he’s in his harness and on his leash because they think it’s funny. They aren’t as careful as Bitty’s teammates to not be unexpected around him. He hates it. 

Bitty is glad to be able to spend more time with his mother, he misses her when she isn’t around but it’s hard. He wants to tell her about Jack, about how much he loves him. He wants to tell her that he sees endless futures but in the happiest ones he’s with a man, often with Jack. He misses Jack, even though they call each other all the time. When Jack comes down for the fourth of July Bitty feels like he’s going to explode with happiness. He rides with his Mama when they go to pick Jack up from the airport. Bitty himself does not drive. There are certain things one simply cannot talk people into letting a legally blind person do. 

Finally, Jack is right there and Bitty jumps out of the car to hug him tightly. Daisy barks happily from her carrier as she spots Sugar. Jack takes her out carefully and sets her down so she can say hello to her friend. Sugar sniffs her joyfully as she bounds around him and beneath him. 

“Jack! I’m so glad you’re here.” Bitty exclaims laughing as Jack literally lifts him into the air slightly. 

“I’m so glad to be here.” Jack tells him. 

“Come on, let’s go.” Bitty says brightly, pulling Jack back towards the car. 

“You sit in front, it’s not like I look out the windows or anything.” Bitty chuckles waving him to the front. Bitty always closes his eyes in cars. Cars are evil deathtraps that could kill everyone way too fast. It’s awful.

“It’s wonderful to see you again, Mrs. Bittle.” Jack says warmly.

“I’m so glad you could come down, Jack. Dicky has been so excited to have you here.” Bitty blushes at his mother’s enthusiasm even though she’s telling the truth. 

“I’ve been looking forwards to this since graduation.” Jack tells her. They drive back to the Bittle household Susanne telling Jack all about the places they were passing. Finally, they were home and Bitty drags Jack up to his room. 

“I’ve missed you.” He says before kissing him hard. Jack wraps his arms around Bitty happily. 

“I missed you so much, Bits. I love you.” He breathes into Bitty’s hair. Bitty laughs happily pressing his face into Jack’s chest. He is so happy to just close his eyes and absorb the warmth of his boyfriend and breathe in the smell of him. 

“I love you so much.” He says after a moment. “Oh Lord, Jack, I missed you. I didn’t realize it was possible to miss someone like this.” Jack buries his face into Bitty’s hair making a happy helpless sound. Then he wraps his arms tight around him to lift him up and swirl him in a circle. Bitty wraps his arms and legs around Jack clinging to him like a koala. Jack ready for the extra weight just chuckles and carries him over to the bed. 

“I know exactly what you mean.” He tells Bitty. “I keep flashing back to being able to wake up with you, to spending time with you.” He confesses. Bitty can feel himself blush. After they all say their goodnights Jack sneaks into Bitty’s room. He looks apologetic.

“Sorry I just, I missed you.” He murmurs “Could I just sleep next to you?”

“Of course you can.” Bitty tells him holding open the blankets for Jack. Jack curls up next to him. Daisy had trotted into the room after him. She promptly finds Sugar where he was sleeping in his bed at the bottom of Bitty’s and curls up by his side. Bitty smiles at the sight of them. Just before he closes his eyes to fall asleep his Vision surges.

Bitty sees countless futures. There is the image of him and Jack facing off on the ice in opposing team colors. There is the image of them with the bakery. There is the image of them with the children on the frozen pond. There is him and Jack kissing beneath the Christmas tree. There are still darker futures: ones in which Jack is hurt, or Bitty is, ones in which Jack is dead, or Bitty is. The brown haired man who he had seen in futures before have vanished. More futures have Jack. More futures are happy. It’s a lot, but Bitty is too tired and too happy to be shaken. What comes will come, but Bitty doesn’t think he has such bad prospects at the moment. Future with Jack sounds lovely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saying goodbye to Bitty is hard. Jack never thought he would want to stay in a place as miserably hot as Georgia. Still he has to get back to his team and his job. It’s weird showing up to practice with a different team. Jack walks in with Daisy in his arms. Tater’s eyes light up at the sight of her. 

“You have dog?” He asks excitedly. Jack smiles a little. Daisy is one thing he can always be excited about. He adores her. 

“This is Daisy, my service dog.” He tells Tater. “She helps me handle my magic among other things. She does love other people though. You can say hello if you’d like.” He sets Daisy on the ground so she can say hello to Tater who sits down on the floor immediately letting Daisy jump onto him to say hello. Jack decides that he likes Alexei Mashkov a lot. A few of the other guys crouch to say hello to Daisy. She seems baffled by the different location and all of the new people. Jack himself is feeling slightly overwhelmed. He whistles her back to his side. She returns to him and allows him to pick her up. Jack automatically feels better. 

George had promised him that Jack having Daisy would not be an issue. Some of the other guys on the team have magic. Most of them are minor things from the rumors Jack heard. Still George and the coaches promised him that they would work around his magic. Jack can only hope that this was true. Usually hockey is the one space where he knows he is safe from his magic. However, the future is hard to predict. Jack of all people knows that it’s impossible to know what the future is going to bring. 

Jack learns to get along with his team. Daisy helps. The guys adopt her quickly. Bitty, despite being in a different state, helps as well. He sends baked goods for Jack to share with the team, doing his best to focus on relatively healthy things so the nutritionist doesn’t kill him. It makes Jack popular with the guys though. 

“You gonna do anything with your fancy college degree?” Marty asks one day. Jack shrugs.

“Maybe get a phd after I retire and write a book someday to tell people what everyone gets wrong.” Jack answers chuckling. “But who knows, it’s hard to know what the future is going to bring, trust me.”

“What does that mean?” Marty asks. 

“Friend from my team Sees the future.” Jack answers. Marty’s eyes go wide.

“Of course! We all heard about the kid at Samwell, they let him play even though he was blind. It was a fight for him to get permission.” Marty says. “What’s his name?” 

“Eric Bittle.” Jack answers. “I didn’t realize people knew about him.” He adds, surprised. He knows that Bitty is a big deal. Bitty is beyond important to him, but he didn’t expect other people to know it. 

“Well it’s a big deal, a blind kid playing NCAA hockey. I mean that doesn’t happen very often.” Marty points out. “And there was a whole debate about whether or not it was fair to let him play, if he had an advantage with the magic and all.” 

“Bittle is not just some blind kid.” Jack protests. “He’s a great player, deserves to be on the ice as much as anyone else. How could anyone say he has an advantage? Like he’s cheating? He has to work so hard just to move through the world on a daily basis. Hockey isn’t just a physical sport for him it’s mentally exhausting but he keeps it up and he’s good at it. He’s the strongest person I know.” He insists, knowing that it’s too much and not caring. Jack would die before letting anyone suggest Bitty didn’t belong on the ice if he wanted to be there.” 

“Hey, I’m not saying that I agreed with them, I’m just saying that’s why it’s a story people knew. I watched a couple of your games, because we knew the team was looking at recruiting you, I saw Bittle play. He’s fast.” Marty tells him, voice easy. Jack nods calming down a little. 

“Yeah, he’s great. On and off ice. He’s the one who bakes.” He says with a smile. “He told me once that he cheats in baking, not in hockey, he looks into the future to find the best balance of ingredients that make for a perfect recipe.”

“That’s incredible.” Marty laughs. 

“Bitty’s the best.” Jack muses. It doesn’t come even close to summarizing how perfect Bitty is, how much he means to Jack, how much Bitty has helped Jack in the time he’s known him. They’ve both come so far, the two of them helping each other and understanding each other. 

Jack is always running into these moments. Moments where he is temporarily stunned and overwhelmed by how much he loves Bitty. He knows in a simple easy way that Bitty is the one. This is it for Jack. He loves Bitty like he’s never loved anyone. He loves Bitty in a way that he can feel is forever. He remembers the overwhelming moment when Bitty had first told him about all the futures he had seen with the two of them. Now he doesn’t see it as frightening or overwhelming. It feels more like a hopeful reassurance. Jack calls Bitty that night. 

“Hello, Honey!” Bitty’s voice is like a warmth soaking into Jack’s chest.

“Hey, Bits.” He says affectionately. “Have I mentioned recently that I adore you?” 

“Not today.” Bitty giggles happily. “Why do you mention?” 

“I was talking about you earlier and I was just thinking about how much I just… adore you. I love you so much, Bits.” Jack tells him honestly.

“I love you too.” Bitty answers automatically. “So much.” 

“I was just thinking today.” Jack tells him. “About the future, and how much I want to spend it with you.” Bitty’s response is basically a squeal.

“I love you so much.” He manages at last. “How am I supposed to handle you?” He asks.

“Just keep tolerating me, I guess.” Jack laughs. 

“Don’t be silly.” Bitty laughs. “I do a lot more than tolerate you. You are my favorite person, Jack.” He tells him. 

Jack can’t help hoping that someday he’ll have years and years of memories of Bitty stored away to flash back to. It’s a dream of happiness that would have once seemed impossible. Now, it seems like something not only possible but likely. Bitty makes everything feel possible to Jack. He always has.

Jack knows that it’s far too early to propose to Bitty, but he also knows that someday he will. He suspects that it will hardly be an easy task to make sure his proposal is a surprise. Not a ‘We haven’t discussed long term commitment, I’m going to say no’ type of surprise, but a ‘I didn’t know you were going to propose today in this specific way!’ type of surprise. He decides he will have to start plotting it out, as long as he is far away from Bittle at the time. The last thing he needs is to spoil the surprise in some way. Before he can do any of that though, he has to consider telling his team about his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, no promises on continuation, but we're going to try to come off of Hiatus I think... I think...


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty being adorable, and Family Skate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my beta has a full time job these days that is not betaing for me, so this is all just my own editing, sorry for any typos. We're just rolling with this for now okay. Idk what I'm doing anymore but look: Content! It's gonna have to be good enough

The team is different without Jack. Bitty misses him, Sugar misses Daisy. He knows the guys miss them as well. It’s not that Ransom and Holster aren’t great Captains because they are, it’s just strange. Ransom and Holster have a habit of showing them plays and how they want them to happen in full illusion form, fake versions of all them skating around the rink silently or with appropriate sounds depending on what they needed. It is helpful if intimidating. 

“Do you miss Shitty as much as I miss Jack?” Bitty asks Lardo one day when she’s sitting at the kitchen table while he’s baking. 

“I’m not sure? Do you miss Jack so much it feels like a physically painful emptiness in your chest?” She asks. He sighs and nods. 

“Yeah, it sucks.” He agrees. 

“I’m sorry, Bits, I know it’s hard, but we’re gonna get through this right?” She says. 

“Yeah, we will it’s just hard. I feel all drifty, if that makes sense. Jack was really good at keeping me present, I didn’t realize how much it helped having him around until he left,” Bitty admits, and then feels guilty, “I just feel like I’m not quite right without him, and I hate that I feel that way because I’ve spent my whole damn life trying to be independent, able to live like on my own without needing help.” 

“It’s okay to need people, Bitty,” Lardo tells him softly, resting a hand on his arm, “you’re allowed to feel better when you have help, it doesn’t mean you are any less capable the rest of the time. Bitty you’re a starting NCAA varsity hockey player, no one in the world except you, would ever call you anything but strong and incredible.” 

“I don’t know about that, but I appreciate the sentiment,” Bitty tells her. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sure Jack misses you as much as you miss him,” Lardo says instead of trying to argue with him. If she had argued he might had spiralled farther into his self loathing but her simple way of speaking broke it instead. He puts his pie in the oven and then steps out of the kitchen to call Jack. 

“Bits! How are you?” Jack asks brightly when he answers. 

“I’m okay, not great, I miss you,” Bitty admits, “how are you doing?” 

“I miss you too,” Jack says, “So much. I feel like I’m off balance without you around.” 

“Oh my god, I was just talking to Lardo about how I feel that way without you!” Bitty exclaims laughing a little, “how did you know? Were you spying on me?” he teases. 

“No Bits, I just said it because I was thinking it,” Jack laughs, “I’m sorry you feel this way too. I hate having to miss you.” Bitty refocuses his magic on Jack, so instead of seeing the world around himself he could see Jack. 

“You look tired sweetheart,” Bitty says without meaning to, “are you sleeping alright?” 

“Now who is spying?” Jack teases, “I’m fine, darling. I just had a few flashbacks today, you know how they take it out of me.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bitty asks. Jack shakes his head, glancing up at Bitty, or where Bitty was looking at him from. Bitty had perfected focusing on Jack instead of himself since Jack moved. It is nice to see him.

“No, it isn’t anything I need to talk about,” Jack says. 

“Are you sure?” Bitty asks, always worried about Jack. 

“Yeah, I am. I’m fine, Bits, seriously, you don’t have to worry about me,” Jack tells him, “I’m really happy on the team, I’m skating well, it’s great. I just miss you. Tell me about you instead.” 

“I’m making a cherry pie today,” Bitty says with a grin. They just talk about their lives after that. Bitty watches as Jack’s face gets brighter and brighter. He sees as Tater comes by and asks if Jack is talking to his girlfriend. He watches as Jack says yes, looking helpless. 

“I’m so sorry Bits, I didn’t know what to say I-” Jack stammers, 

“Don’t apologize sweetpea, it’s fine,” Bitty insists. 

The two of them survive. They survive and Jack even thrives with the Falconers. Still they both know that they couldn’t go on lying and hiding forever, and they didn’t want to. Jack tells George first, and it goes really well, so he tells the rest of the team. He even invites Bitty to the family skate. Bitty is more anxious about it than he has ever been about anything. He keeps his eyes shut a lot before the thing itself, knowing that he won’t be able to prevent himself from flashing further forward if he opens them. Jack doesn’t mention it, instead he just makes sure to tell Bitty when he’s smiling or warns him when there’s something in front of him. 

“What if they hate me?” Bitty asks helplessly before they leave. He has four pies baked and ready, all ones he had made enough times that he doesn’t need to cheat by using his Sight. He’s still completely terrified, and he has his eyes shut tight. 

“They won’t hate you, they already love you for the pie alone, Bits,” Jack tells him. 

“I don’t know if I can do this, Jack,” Bitty admits, “what if I try to step out onto the ice and I can’t stop myself from Seeing everything, and I collapse and they all think I’m crazy?”

“First of all, they all know you’re blind so if you don’t want to open your eyes you don’t have too. You can stay off the ice with Sugar, or you can hang onto me and I’ll guide you around the ice. One way or another, I’m going to be with you every step of the way. And even if you do open your eyes and See things that make you collapse, no one will judge you for it. The guys have seen me have flashbacks, and they’ve all been really incredible about it. It is going to be fine,” Jack promises. 

“What if they don’t like the pie?” Bitty asks. Jack just laughs and wraps his arms around Bitty. 

“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Jack says. He pulls him up into the air, making Bitty laugh. 

“You’re so sweet,” Bitty laughs.

“You’re ready for this,” Jack assures him. 

“I don’t know about that, but let’s go, okay?” Bitty asks. Jack nods and whistles for Daisy. Bitty keeps his eyes closed as they load themselves into Jack’s truck, Sugar in the backseat, Daisy in Bitty’s lap. When they got there Bitty can’t make himself get out of the truck. 

“Bits, it’s okay,” Jack says squeezing his hand before he climbs out of the truck. When he opens Bitty’s door and helps him down Bitty grits his teeth and opens up his eyes, focusing hard on staying in the present moment (or as close as he can anyway). His Sight wavers slightly and then stabilizes. 

“You alright?” Jack asks, still holding his hand tight. 

“For now,” Bitty agrees. “Come on, let’s go.” Jack looped Daisy’s leash around his wrist and then picked up all of the pies. Bitty held onto Sugar’s harness with one hand and set the other on Jack’s elbow. They made their way to the ice together, towards the group of falconers and family. 

“Zimbonni!” the voice belonged to Tater, and Bitty automatically opened his eyes so he could see the large Russian, startled by the volume. Having been startled into it helped, Bitty’s habit of focusing on himself only a second or two into the future took over before he could overthink it. He Saw Alexei “Tater” Mashkov in front of them, and was mildly shocked at the sheer amount of enthusiastic Russian. He clapped Jack on the back and then looked at Bitty with a grin. 

“Bitty! Pie Boyfriend! So glad to meet you!” He exclaimed joyously. He offered Bitty a hand, and when Bitty put his own hand forwards to shake it Tater pulled him into a hug. 

“Tater, don’t you dare crush my boyfriend,” Jack said laughing, “Let him go, we’ve gotta get these pies to the food table,” he added. 

“You take pies, I take B to meet others!” Tater said enthusiastically. Bitty just laughed, and let Tater lead him over to meet the others. 

“What is Dog’s name?” Tater asked as they walked. 

“This is Sugar,” Bitty told him, “He’s in work mode right now but I’ll let him off harness later and he’ll say hello.” 

“He is like big bleached Daisy,” Tater said with a grin. Then they reached the others and there were introductions all around. Everyone seemed overjoyed to meet Bitty. They were all happy and friendly and welcoming. It is a lot, almost too much for Bitty to take in, but then Jack comes up behind him wrapping an arm around him, hand on his waist, and Bitty relaxes suddenly. It’s amazing the effect Jack has on him. He’ll never get over it. 

Soon enough Bitty is on the ice with all the others. He let Sugar out of his harness and once granted freedom the dog gallops around to meet everyone and see if he can convince anyone to give him treats. He gets more than he should, but Bitty just lets him. Sugar even attempts to follow Marty’s kids out onto the ice, scrabbling and falling over himself, like the most helpless polar bear ever. Bitty laughs with everyone else at it before rescuing his loyal companion. The Falcs are all clearly impressed by the ease and speed with which Bitty navigates the ice, and the world in general. They try not to stare at his eyes though, and he appreciates it. Throughout it all Jack is never far away, always keeping an eye out for Bitty just like Bitty keeps track of him. They anchor each other even when they’re not side by side, getting each other through the fear and everything else. Before the end of the day Bitty has lifted Tater into the air on the ice, both of them laughing as Bitty carefully avoids letting Jack stop him from trying. 

It’s a good day, a really good day. It’s the type of thing Bitty wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to have. He never thought he would get this, be lucky enough to have something this good, with his boyfriend and friends and a team that welcomes them. They climb back into Jack’s truck at the end of the day, both happy but exhausted. Bitty has shut his eyes again, tired from managing the new and unfamiliar for so long. Jack drives them home, and then, just because he can, carries Bitty up to his apartment and into bed. Bitty laughs and clings to his neck happily as he does it, knowing it’s not because Jack thinks he cannot manage himself. Jack is never condescending. When he offers Bitty help it’s because he loves him. He knows Bitty can do it, he’s just there to help him make it easier. After so long trying to be completely independent, to prove to the world that he can do anything, it is a strange feeling for Bitty to accept the help. At the same time, it’s easy. Leaning on Jack, letting Jack support him, help him, love him. It’s the easiest thing sometimes. 

“I’ll never know how I got lucky enough to have this life,” Bitty murmurs, curled up against Jack’s chest that night. 

“I know exactly how you feel,” Jack whispers, “but I guess we just have to be grateful, and live it well to show we appreciate it.” Bitty nods and presses a kiss to one of Jack’s hands, appreciating how much it means that Jack feels lucky in his life, despite everything that has happened to him. He supposes the same can be said of himself. The thought is strangely hopeful. The two have them have suffered their own versions of hell, but they are healing, they are happy, they are lucky. It’s an amazing thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll update periodically (I'll go for once a week). I really poured a lot into this fic and I really hope you like it. If you like this drop me a comment and let me know! Thanks for reading!


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